He knows no fear!

Archive for August, 2011

The STUFF MONKEY appeal STUFF-O-METER

Great news with our appeal… we have so far recieved 41 oz. of quality grade 1 medical compatible stuffing foam for Monkey’s transfusion. We need 50 oz., we are almost at our target – this is fantastic news.

The STUFF-O-METER is showing our progress as 82%.

The STUFF-O-METER

Our latest donation came from Coca-Cola Ltd. whom gave us 3 oz. of stuffing foam. Appartently they use foam to soak up the coke that has been spilt onto the factory floor and so they can squeeze out the juices and sell it on. So a BIG thank you to our latest sponsor Coca-Cola Ltd.

The webmaster team

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The STUFF MONKEY appeal day three

We are receiving stuffing foam donations from many sources now however people are still sending the wrong type of stuffing to us.

Please do not send us stuffing mix as it will attract the ants and bugs if we were to stuff Monkey with the stuffing mix as it will go off.

We do not accept this sort of stuffing

The webmaster team


The STUFF MONKEY appeal day two

With donations coming in now from both sides of the atlantic we have now reach the total of 21 oz. of foam stuffing for Monkey’s foam transfussion operation to be done at Great Ormonds Street Royal Hospital for Sick Cuddly Toys.

It is very important that we get the right type of foam for the procedure. We have recieved some bubble bath foam from several bikini girls whom obviously like Monkey very much but sorry girls… bubble bath foam will not fill up Monkey body!

We do not accept this sort of foam

The type of foam required is grade 1 foam stuffing a bit like this in the photograph below. Ask your cuddly toys if they are willing to donate some foam stuffing to our great cause or if that fails…. rip apart your sofa and send the foam to us. We need 50 oz. of foam for Monkey’s procedure.

Top quality grade 1 foam that we are looking for

The webmaster team


The STUFF MONKEY campaign 2011 – part 2

Today we have recieved our first donation of foam stuffing for our STUFF MONKEY campaign.

The donation of 6 oz. of grade 1 cuddly toy foam stuffing comes from Sylvestor Stallone the American actor, filmmaker, screenwriter and film director.

Grade 1 foam stuffing

We appeal urgently for foam stuffing for Monkey’s emergency foam transfussion operation to be done at the world famous Royal Hospital for Sick Cuddly Toys, Great Ormond Street in London.

We need 50 oz. of grade 1 foam stuffing and we appeal for any donations please.

Thanks again to Sylvestor Stallone whom made the kind donation to our appeal this evening.

The webmaster team


The STUFF MONKEY campaign 2011

Fifteen months ago, after falling off my wall hook I broken both of my legs. You may had seen the photographs of me in hospital on my facebook account. After investigations, the Doctors at the Royal Infirmary Edinburgh suggested that I broken my legs because my foam stuffing density was low and I was diagnose with brittle foam disease or BFD for short.

BFD is a congenital disease that is often cause by poor quality manufacture of cuddly toys. Made in China that sort of stuff.

Because of my low density foam stuffing – a campaign was started to collect foam to be used for an emergency foam tranfusion into my body and this campaign was successful and I had made a full recovery.

However, this morning, I went for a routine check up for foam density tests which was performed by the sexxxxyyyy nurses and they found my foam stuffing levels to be very low again.

Having my weight taken so that the nurses can assess my foam density

It now appears that I need another foam stuffing transfusion and I therefore ask all my fans and friends to search for their old cuddly toys up in the loft and start collecting foam for me. It is important that we collect foam, as some cuddly toys use cork chippings, beans or paper for their stuffing and this is not compatible with my own stuffing group as I am foam stuffing only (which is group F+, stuffing groups CC+, B+ and P+ is not compatible).

Please help us and start collecting foam so that I can have my foam transfusion.

Please send all foam donations to the STUFF MONKEY campaign at the Royal Hospital for Sick Cuddly Toys, Great Ormond Street, City of London.


Complaint against our website

It is our sad duty to report that a complaint has been made against the OFFICIAL Sgt. Monkey website.

We at the OFFICIAL Sgt. Monkey website take all matters of concern seriously and will deal with any complaint arising from members of the public prompty to to ensure that all viewers are satisfied.

The complaint made was concerns about Monkey’s standard of the English language and grammer.

We apologize for the poor standard of grammer that has appeared in several of Monkey’s articles and we will take measures to ensure that Monkey take evening classes at adult evening school from now on.

We want all viewers of this website to be aware that Sgt. Monkey was born in Borneo and therefore he is speaking and writing in English as a foreign language.

Compliementary tea and cookies have been posted by first class mail to the viewer whom made the complaint and we hope she will be happy with this outcome. If she is not happy with this outcome, then we can send “Da Boyz” around to her doorstep and deal with her appropriately.

Once again, we are sorry for the appalling standard of English that appeared in this website.

The webmaster team


I have the flu – part 2

Today I went to see my GP and she suggested that I may have a form of monkey malaria! She has recommended that I am to take airborne virus precautions….

Taking precautions!

Monkey malaria is an emerging disease and could become the next bird flu should the virus jump from cuddly toy monkeys to humans *GULP!*

Taking precautions!

This is an article from a Indian newspaper warning about the spread of monkey malaria….

http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2009-09-11/india/28112141_1_malaria-strain-plasmodium-vivax-chloroquine-and-primaquine