He knows no fear!

Archive for April, 2012

Competition – Where’s Monkey?

Well tonight was the deadline for all the entries in our “Where’s Monkey?” competition and the judges was busy sifting through all the entries for the competition winner.

Before we announce the winner, we will tell you the answer to the “Where’s Monkey?” photograph.

He is on a train but where is our wee monkey in this photograph?

We can now tell you, where is our wee monkey!


Our wee monkey was on the death railway in Kanchanaburi, Thailand.

Read about our wee monkey adventures and holiday romance in Kanchanaburi here:


Congratulations to all of those with the correct answer.

The winner is….



no one!

As no one bothered to enter the competition.

Perhaps the competition photograph was too hard for you all, so we are repeating the competition with an easier photograph.

All you have to do to win this competition prize is to guess where is Sgt. Monkey in our photograph below:

Monkey is in the desert, but where is he?

The winner of our competition will receive a email “signed” photograph of our wee cuddly toy monkey.

Please leave your answer as an comment and the judges will reveal the answer and the winner on June 30th 2012.

The winner will then be sent the “signed” photograph of our wee monkey. A prize surely worth winning.

So get guessing and all the best of luck.

The webmaster team

N.B. A clue to the place and country of this photograph can be found on one of our wee monkey previous travel blogs.


The MONKEY PARTY campaign for the Local Elections – part 5

Today our wee monkey, the Monkey Party candidate in the UK Local Elections was busy campaigning for a waterslide at the Royal Edinburgh Commonwealth Pool. One of the key policys of the Monkey Party manifesto.

Our wee monkey was busy today with his election campaign.

Our wee monkey wrote a email to the the City of Edinburgh Council demanding a waterslide to be be built.

The email is as follows:


Regarding the £37 million refurbishment of the Edinburgh Royal Commonwealth Pool, I cannot understand why no waterslide was built? Surely with £37 million, some funds could had been set aside for a waterslide? Where did this money go? It is a scandal!

A google search found this waterslide at a mere cheap £200. http://www.amazon.co.uk/Giant-Inflatable-Water-Slide-Blower/dp/B003UMEBQE/ref=sr_1_12?s=kids&ie=UTF8&qid=1335293310&sr=1-12

Could it be installed into the Commonwealth Pool?

I have spoken to many residents of Edinburgh and they say that the Commonwealth Pool is boring as it has no wave machine or waterslide! There is nothing to do other than swim around in a rectangular pool!

That is why I prefer Waterworld in Ayia Napa, Cyprus – it is fun!

Love and kisses,


Official candidate for the Monkey Party”

We hope that the council respond to popular public demand.

It is also noted that despite invitations for a leader’s debate sent out to all of the mainstream political parties earlier in the week, none had responded to take up the challenge of a one to one live TV debate with our wee monkey. Are they scared of facing up to the voice of reason that is our wee monkey? Scared of being made a fool of by the cuddly toy monkey?

The Monkey Party Secretary

The MONKEY PARTY campaign for the Local Elections – part 4

Today our wee monkey, the Monkey Party candidate in the UK Local Elections was busy studying the financial growth forecast charts of our great nation. He is not happy! Not happy indeed.

News this week, released by the ONS that our country is back in recession is worrying. The three in one party LABLIBCON had failed us. They are incompetent. Far from getting our country moving again following the 2008 banking crisis, they had brought this country once again back to it knees. Our wee monkey is not happy with our failed coalition government.

Today our wee monkey was busy reading the Financial Times studying the charts for the UK economy.

This chart belows shows the decline in the UK ecomony under the coalition government:

The chart shows the decline in the UK ecomony under the coalition government.

This chart below shows the growth forecast of the UK ecomony under a Monkey Party government:

The charts shows the growth forecast of the UK ecomony under a Monkey Party government.

As the charts clearly demonstrates, we at the Monkey Party are able to flip and turn charts by using Microsoft Paint.

Only by voting the Monkey Party on May 3rd can we get the “Great” back into Britain.

Vote monkey on May 3rd and see the change.

The Monkey Party Secretary

10000 hits celebration!

The OFFICAL Sgt. Monkey website is please to announce that at 1235 hours on Wednesday 25th April 2012, we had recieved our 10000th hit.

The news articles about our wee monkey election bid in the UK Local Elections is bring in new bloggers each day to our website. Our wee monkey is the leader of the Monkey Party and is the fastest growing political party in the UK.

We are please to annouce that our 10000th hitter competition has a winner! But who is it? We have no ideal! If you are the person that made the 10000th hit at 1235 hours today (BST time) please email us to claim your prize. Proof that you were the 10000th hitter is required.

The prize is a packet of monkey nuts.

The 10000th hitter had won a packet of monkey nuts!

We look forward to hearing from our 10000th hitter.

If you missed out on this competition, don’t worry as we are still running the “Where’s monkey” competition and the deadline is 30th April 2012.

The competition is here:


We will of course keep you all up to date of Sgt. Monkey gossip and adventures.

The webmaster team

The MONKEY PARTY campaign for the Local Elections – part 3

Our wee monkey was out on the streets of Edinburgh today campaigning for his bid for a seat on the City of Edinburgh Council.

Many people today expressed their support for our wee monkey and yesterday a blogger on this very website stated that he would wear a monkey outfit to help bring back common sense to British politics.

After visiting local residents this morning, our wee monkey spent the afternoon in his office organizing his campaign.

He wrote a letter to the Scottish Conservative Party local candidate today challenging him to a live TV debate.

Our wee monkey spent the afternoon in his office writing letters and emails.

We look forward to hearing from the Torys to see if they will accept our challenge.

The letter was sent to the Scottish Conservative Party challenging them to a live TV debate with our wee monkey.

Monkey then wrote an email to the Edinburgh Council demanding that a water slide is built at the Royal Commonwealth Pool.

The email said:

“Are their any plans to build a huge waterslide at the newly refurbished Royal Commonwealth Pool. It would be fun!”

This waterslide which can be purchased online is only £199.95, so why did a £37 million refurbishment of the pool not been able to purchase one? Where did the £37 million go? It is a scandal.


If you want to send an email to Edinburgh Council demanding a waterslide to be built at the Royal Commonwealth Pool please use this link:


If you wish to volunteer your time and join the Monkey Party campaigning team, please email us at our usual email address.

Put an end to this madness and vote Monkey on May 3rd.

A vote for Monkey is a vote for common sense.

The Monkey Party secretary

My return from my trip to Iceland

I am back from my week holiday in Iceland.

Being a cuddly toy monkey from the jungles of Borneo, I must say how cold I was way up north in Iceland. But you know me, I am a tough little fluff ball.

I can’t wait to upload my photographs. But those of you who had been following my adventures know all too well that the next two weeks is going to be very VERY busy for me as I am campaigning with my own political party in the UK Local Elections. I hope to win a seat on the City of Edinburgh Council and put a stop to the Edinburgh trams farce by replacing it with my own piggyback to work scheme.

Because of my election campaign, I can’t upload my photos from Iceland until after the elections. So, just for now I will be showing you one photograph from Iceland. The rest will wait until after the elections on May 3rd.

This is me at the Blue Lagoon. I was relaxing at the geothermal spa and getting my cotton fur massage by some lovely Icelandic blonde chicks. Oh, the Icelandic girls do like a wee monkey.

Me at the Blue Lagoon geothermal spa.

For more information on the Blue Lagoon spa please visit:


Me packing for my trip to Iceland

This weekend I am off to Iceland.


A map of Iceland.

After a hard few months working at the barracks beasting my new recruits, I need the break.

This is a picture of me packing for my trip. I am taking a lot of cold weather clothes as it is brrrr in Iceland.

Me packing for my trip to Iceland.

I will be scuba diving in Silfra crack in Thingvellir National Park – a UNESCO World Heritage Site. This dive site is famous for it 40 metres plus visability and even 100 metres plus visability on good days. The site is the joining of the two continental plates, the American and Eurasian continents. It is famous for it rock formations and visability and one of the best dive sites in the world and I am going to be the first cuddly toy scuba diving it.

This is the dive site that I am going to next week.

I will also be relaxing in the hot springs to relax my aching cotton fur feet after my long distance walk a few weeks ago.

Whilst I am away, please remember that we have two competitions running at the moment.

The “Where’s monkey” competition is here: https://britisharmysgtmonkey.wordpress.com/2012/03/23/competition-wheres-monkey/

The “10,000th hitter” competition is here: https://britisharmysgtmonkey.wordpress.com/2011/10/31/competition-the-10000th-hitter/

Amazing prizes can be won in each of these these competitions so get entering.

When I am back on the 22nd April, I will be very busy with my Local Elections campaign in Edinburgh where I am contesting for a seat on Edinburgh Council. Please read through my policys also on this website and if you agree with my “piggyback to work” scheme as an alternative to the Edinburgh trams farce then please vote for me.

As I said, that week – I will be busy campaigning on the streets of Edinburgh, so I won’t be able to put my Iceland photos up until after the elections on May 3rd.

If you live in Edinburgh and are willing to volunteer your time to help us with the elections campaign, please email the webmaster on our usual email address. We can hand you some Monkey Party leaflets for you to distribute.