He knows no fear!

The Monkey Party response to the 2013 Budget by the Coalition Government

Today was the 2013 Budget by the Coalition Government and what a load of horsemeat it was!

Our financial experts at the Monkey Party HQs listened to the Chancellor of the Exchequer as he read out his budget statement in Parliament this afternoon. We felt nausea as we listened to the speech and then puke over the living room sofa. What a load of spin it was. The poor got poorer and the rich got richer.

We were shocked to learn of the new cuddly toy licence taxation. Enough is enough. The government proposal today that all cuddly toy owners need to pay for a annual cuddly toy licence fee is just wrong.

Children up and down the country will be taxed just for having a cuddly toy. The government intends to charge £145.50 for a cuddly toy licence, the same charge as the unpopular TV licence. Our experts have not worked out if the government want us to pay a single fee for the whole household or a separate fee for each cuddly toy own. The new cuddly toy licence fee comes in force on April 1st 2014.

Failure to pay this cuddly toy licence fee will result in a visit from the cuddly toy licence fee inspectors resulting in a £1000 fine.

We at the Monkey Party HQs will fight against this cuddly toy tax.

That is why, at 8am tomorrow the Monkey Party will published it own 2013 Budget statement. A plan for real growth for our great country.

We have a plan for tax cuts.

We have a plan for growth.

We have a plan for enterprise for our stuggling businesses.

I was sick in the garden....

Monkey became ill after hearing the 2013 Budget speech.

A wee poem for the ordinary tax payers:

Tax his land,
Tax his bed,
Tax the table
At which he’s fed.

Tax his work,
Tax his pay,
He works for peanuts

Tax his cow,
Tax his goat,
Tax his pants,
Tax his coat.

Tax his tobacco,
Tax his drink,
Tax him if he
Tries to think.

Tax his car,
Tax his gas,
Find other ways
To tax his #$%$.

Tax all he has
Then let him know
That you won’t be done
Till he has no dough.

When he screams and hollers;
Then tax him some more,
Tax him till
He’s good and sore.

Then tax his coffin,
Tax his grave,
Tax the sod in
Which he’s laid.

When he’s gone,
Do not relax,
It’s time to apply
The inheritance tax.

Accounts Receivable Tax
Airline surcharge tax
Airline Fuel Tax
Airport Maintenance Tax
Building Permit Tax
Cigarette Tax
Cooking Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Goods and Services Tax (GST)
Death Tax
Driving Permit Tax
Environmental Tax (Fee)
Excise Taxes
Income Tax
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Petrol Tax (too much per litre)
Gross Receipts Tax
Health Tax
Heating Tax
Inheritance Tax
Interest Tax
Lighting Tax
Liquor Tax
Luxury Taxes
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Mortgage Tax
Pension Tax
Personal Income Tax
Property Tax
Poverty Tax
Prescription Drug Tax
Real Estate Tax
Recreational Vehicle Tax
Retail Sales Tax
Service Charge Tax
School Tax
Telephone Tax
Value Added Tax
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Water Tax
Workers Compensation Tax
Tax (VAT) on Tax.
And Now they want a blooming Carbon Tax!


Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago, & our nation was one of the most prosperous in the world… We had absolutely no national debt, had a large middle cl#$%$,a huge manufacturing base, and Mum stayed home to raise the kids.

What in the Hell happened? Could it be the lying parasitic politicians wasting our money?
Oh, and don’t forget the relatively new bank charges….

Please vote MONKEY in the 2015 General Elections and see the change.

The Monkey Party secretary


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