He knows no fear!

My trip to Dubrovnik, Croatia in 2013 – part 1

I have just come back from my two week hoilday in Dubrovnik in Croatia.

The last time I was in Croatia was in the 1990’s when I served with the UN in the war torn former Yugoslavia. I was only 4 years old* when I joined the British Army and sent to the conflict that raged the former Yugoslavia between 1991 and 1995. The war was no place for a young wee cuddly toy but I fulfill my UN duties with honour.

On the day of my departure, my foster auntie and uncle left our house at four in the morning and set off in a waiting taxi. I was very angry – had they forgotten me! So a quick check of my uncle’s email account (I know his password) and grrrrr I found out they never purchase any flight tickets for me! Were they planning to hoilday without me – a private romantic hoilday without me? So, I grab my bags and ran down the street as fast as my wee legs could take me and I manage to jump on to the taxi rear bumper. We made it to the airport but what was I suppose to do! I had no flight ticket. Using my army ninja training I sneaked on the aircraft by climbing in between the undercarriage. My auntie and uncle did not know that I was a stowaway on the flight. I was looking forward to surprising them at the rented appartment.

The next part of my stowaway plan was to climb inside my uncle’s luggage within the aircraft hold and I did it within ease.

When the plane landed in Dubrovnik, a wee sniffer dog snuffed me out on the luggage conveyor belt. The Croatia secret state police arrested me!

They tortured me!

The secret state police tortured me!

The secret state police tortured me!

They put a plastic bag over me and said nasty things to me such as “You are not a cute cuddly toy!”

The Chief of Secret police said that I was to be executed for entering the country illegally.

The old town in Dubrovnik still has the public execution square and I was to be executed at dawn the next day. It was to the first public execution in Dubrovnik since the medieval times.

The execution square in the old city of Dubrovnik.

The execution square in the old town of Dubrovnik.

I was pooping myself as I was led out to the square.

I was scare!

I was scare!

They read out my sins as I was placed into the blocks.

This was it! The end of Sgt. Monkey!

This was it! The end of Sgt. Monkey!

Suddenly there was a cry from the auidence. It was the mayor of Dubrovnik Miss Lynojka Sneobnic. She said something to the Chief of State police! He then came over to me and said he was sorry! The mayor recognised me as the one and only famous travelling Sgt. Monkey from the internet. The mayor decided to parden me after realising that I was no ordinary cuddly toy. I was a free monkey once again.

I made it to my uncle’s rented appartment and when he let me in – I punched him for not taking me on hoilday with him.

My self catering appartment was wee cute – I tend to avoid major hotels as I like to feel that I living in a destination.

Anyway, twenty years on and I am back in Croatia on my summer holidays. It was a hot 35 degrees Celicus and my wee soft cotton fur got burnt.

It was a hot day for sunbathing.

It was a hot day for sunbathing.

To be continued….

For more information about Croatia please visit:


* 4 years old for a wee cuddly toy monkey is the equivalent to 16 years in human years.


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