He knows no fear!

The Monkey Party 2014 Budget statement

Yesterday was the coalition government budget statement and what a load of diarrhoea it was.

Our experts at the Monkey Party HQs listened to the chancellor of the exchequer 2014 Budget speech and whilst we welcome measures to reduce tax and to encourage growth, it is not enough. We do not believe that the new sex tax a.k.a. the bonk tax will solve our country debt problems.

We at the Monkey Party believe that the reason why our country is in utter financial turnmoil is because our workers are going to bed late and thus are not performing well at work due to tireness and fatigue. This is costing our country billions!

Is this you at work?

Is this you at work?

Look at this picture, this drunken fool has to be in work at 9am the next morning. Will he be productive at work?

Is this you?

Is this you?

A tired worker is a dangerous worker.

And too right!

And too right!

We at the Monkey Party believe that the key to get our country growing again is to introduce a staying up late tax. This tax will apply to anyone of working age who doesn’t go to bed by 10pm on Sunday to Thursday nights. The tax will be £25 if the worker is not in bed by 10pm.

Our country need it workers to be productive – so go to bed earlier or you pay the staying up late tax.

These fools are staying up late! So they will pay the proposed £25 tax.

These fools are staying up late! So they will pay the proposed £25 tax.

If our workforce go to bed earlier then our manufacturing production will be greatly improved in our industries.

We must not be lazy so go to bed early please or face the tax.

A tired worker sleep on his truck.

A tired worker sleep on his truck.

With the introduction of this new tax, our workforce will be going to bed earlier and hence will be fresher and brighter for the working day the following morning. Our production will be booming with everyone going to bed earlier.

Those who choose not to go to bed will pay the tax and rightly so for not going to work with a 110% commitment.

Look at this chart, with our workforce going to bed before 10pm our country GDP increases:

This chart clearly shows how the UK GDP will accelerate after our workforce go to bed earlier.

This chart clearly shows how the UK GDP will accelerate after our workforce go to bed earlier.

VOTE Monkey and let us get this country growing again.

The Monkey Party secretary

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One response

  1. Pingback: The Monkey Party 2015 Pre-Budget statement | britisharmysgtmonkey

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