The Monkey Party General Election Campaign 2015
Hello voters and monkey fans. It is only two months before the General Elections in the UK. This is a chance for REAL change. Yes “REAL” change. Let us kick out the elitist politicians and put our wee cuddly toy monkey into power.
Only a monkey cuddly toy can represent us the working class. With Sgt. Monkey as our Prime Minister we will guarantee the following:
No more tax rises
No more illegal wars
No more expenses scandals
No more poverty
No more homelessness
No more job losses
No more low pay
No more recession
No more bank bail outs
No more banker bonuses
No more lost of pensions
No more lost of personal savings
In addition we promise to send Tony Blair to the International War Crimes Tribual in the Hague.
We believe that ex-prime ministers must be held to account for their own actions.
Are you fed up of the same LABLIBCON polictians ruining our once great country then vote MONKEY on May 7th and see the REAL change.
We are today officially starting our 2015 General Elections campaign today. The MONKEY PARTY is the fastest growing political party in the UK. We offer real change to the 70 years of corruption by the ruling political elite.
Over the years we the MONKEY PARTY had stood up to the LABLIBCON stooges and offer REAL change to the ordinary people of the UK. This is our second General Election campaign and we are roaring to FIGHT. Are you?
Please study our policys that we had proposed over the years.
You may had remember our policys such as our opposition to the sex tax a.k.a “bonk” tax. You may also remember that we support joining the BUMS organisation (Borneo Union of Member States). You may also remember our cuddly toy moon landing program. You may also remember our opposition to the Edinburgh trams farce and our alternative scheme for the piggyback to work scheme. We also campaign for an inflatable water slide to be built in Edinburgh swimming pool. You may also remember that we propose that we drop the collapsing British pound and instead base a new currency called the COCO based upon our coconuts standard reserve. Finally would could forget out unsuccessful campaign in 2010 to bring back Captain Caveman to our telly.
We need volunteers in our 2015 General Elections campaign.
Can you spare a few hours a week to help us with our campaign?
We need volunteers to deliver our leaflets and to knock on people doors. Can you help? If so, please contact our webmaster on our usual email and tell us how you can help the MONKEY PARTY campaign.
We will give all of our campaign volunteers a pistachio nut for their hard work.
We don’t pay bus fare expenses as unlike the mainstream policical parties we do not accept lobbyist bribes and thus we are skint.
Please join the FIGHT back.
The Monkey Party secretary