General Election Results
The votes had been counted.
In the Edinburgh South constituency in which our wee monkey was a candidate, it was revealed that the Monkey Party has only got 3 votes.
With 74.8% turnout the winner was Labour with 39.1% of the votes. We congratulate Mr Ian Murray of Labour for winning the seat.
This was a disappointing result for us in the Monkey Party. It is obviously that the people of the UK are turkeys voting for Christmas and that they want more wars, more debt, more wage enslavement, erosion of pensions, zero hour contracts, bank bailouts, QE of money, nuclear missiles. They voted for it!
We at Monkey Party HQs are very upset so we got drunk.
In a shocking statement our wee monkey revealed that he is stepping down as the leader of the Monkey Party.
“Dear Monkey Fans,
I regret to say that I will be stepping down as the leader of the Monkey Party. Since 2010 when we founded the Monkey Party we had represented the ordinary working class citizen of Britain in British politics. It is obvious that the people of the UK want to be wage slaves for the elitism, the federal reserve and central banks, so I have no choice but to resign my position as the people of the UK had voted for more enslavement and not freedom.”
We wish all the people of the UK good luck in their tyranny – they voted for it!
The Monkey Party secretary
– The end –