***BREAKING NEWS*** Monkey Becomes a Dad!!!
We bring you the most amazing news…
Our wee monkey is a dad!
At 1221pm on Thursday 5th November our wee monkey became a dad when a baby monkey was won at a 10p slot machine in a North Yorkshire funfair. The slot machine gave our wee monkey a baby monkey when he successfully grab a cuddly toy with a crane.
We at the webmaster offices were totally unaware that our wee monkey was seeing a lady monkey as we all thought that our monkey was dating a sexy Scottish girl who wears a sexy bikini whilst on holiday in Turkey! Obviously our wee monkey prefers other monkeys now! We do not know who the mother is! We can only assume the mum is “Pom” the prostitute monkey working in Bangkok.
But our records shows that our wee monkey has not been to Bangkok since 2011.
Our spies in Bangkok saw Pom working in the bars today!
Is Pom the mother?
Asking our medical advisor to our website, who could be the possible mother, our expert says that in this age of social media it is possible that “Pom” became pregnant through a webcam kinky session! In this day of age, anything is possible! Was our wee monkey doing his dirty deeds through social media and chatting to Pom over the webcam each night?
Is this how Pom appeared on the webcam each night?
Back in the UK, our baby monkey was settling into his new home after spending nine months inside the slot machine.
Our boss has granted our wee monkey time off work for maternity leave.
Our wee monkey and baby monkey will be going on holiday to Portugal next week.
We wish Mr Monkey and baby monkey all the best of luck –
– The webmaster team –