He knows no fear!

Campaign

The MONKEY PARTY campaign for the Local Elections – Results

Today, we at the Monkey Party made massive gains.

In the Edinburgh ward where our party leader stood as a candidate, we achieved 30 votes! This is a increase of 25 votes on our Scottish Elections campaign last year and 28 votes more than what the Monkey Party achieved in the 2010 General Elections.

This result is a 600% increase on last year results and once again proving that we are the fastest growing polictical party in the UK.

For a political party that is only three years old, we are growing more and getting bigger. We expect this growth to continue for the 2015 General Elections where we expect our wee monkey to become Prime Minister.

There was celebrations today in the Monkey Party HQs.

Monkey was partying this morning after hearing the news of our 600% increase in our share of votes.

So we didn’t win any seats on Edinburgh Council – sucks! But we gave the ruling three in one party LABLIBCON a bloody good kicking didn’t we? huh?

The Monkey Party secretary

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The MONKEY PARTY campaign for the Local Elections – part 8

Today our wee monkey was busy intimidating voters to vote for him. The Monkey Party campaign team recruited the local street gang “da boyz” to help him persade voters to vote for him. They used unreasonable levels of force to get the voters to vote for him.

All across the UK people like you were voting.

Some voters required a severe kicking as they were harder to persade (must be the Labour supporters).

The Monkey Party campaign team were out on the streets today persading voters to vote for us.

Because of our dirty tactics, we at the Monkey Party HQs expect major victories tomorrow when the results are announce.

Our wee monkey is a very intelligent cuddly toy, he wrote this letter all by himself.

With three hours left in the polls, if you had not voted yet – please get to the polling stations and VOTE MONKEY for a better Britain.

The Monkey Party secretary


The MONKEY PARTY campaign for the Local Elections – part 7

Tomorrow is the UK Local Elections 2012. This is your chance to stick your two fingers up to the three in one party LABLIBCON.  Our ruling politicians had failed us. They are corrupt, they fiddle whilst Rome burns. Too busy filing expenses form whilst we the people rot with high unemployment and national debt! It is time to replace our government with a cuddly toy. Our wee monkey doesn’t speak, doesn’t move or make any expressions but we do know one thing for sure – he will do a better job of running over councils than any LABLIBCON politician.

People like you are voting MONKEY.

Tomorrow vote the MONKEY PARTY for a better Britain.

Exit polls are showing a massive increase in the popularity of the MONKEY PARTY.

The Monkey Party Secretary.


The MONKEY PARTY campaign for the Local Elections – part 6

With only two days to go before the elections, we ask everyone to read the Monkey Party manifesto and make up their minds.

Please read our full manifesto here:

https://britisharmysgtmonkey.wordpress.com/2012/03/21/the-monkey-party-2012-budget-statement/

and here:

https://britisharmysgtmonkey.wordpress.com/2012/04/09/the-monkey-party-campaign-for-the-local-elections/

Our wee monkey is a councillor candidiate for Edinburgh Council.

Sgt. Monkey is a councillor candidiate for Edinburgh Council.

Our wee monkey is a very nice monkey, he is a traveller having travelled the world experiencing different cultures and people. He is an adventurer having trek the Sahara desert and climbed Mount Everest. He is a honest little monkey and is loyal to his girlfriend. He got his first aid badge in the Cub Scouts. He has served Queen and Country in the British Army and is proud of his service. Please vote for him, he is a lovely monkey.

If you vote for Monkey and Monkey get elected into Edinburgh Council, this picture represents how Edinburgh will look in 12 months time:

Edinburgh will bosom with Monkey running things.

If you vote for the lying deceiving three in one party LABLIBCON then this picture will represent how Edinburgh will look in 12 months time:

This is how Edinburgh will look if you DON'T vote for our wee monkey!

Vote Monkey on May 3rd to bring back common sense to British Politics.

The Monkey Party secretary


The MONKEY PARTY campaign for the Local Elections – part 5

Today our wee monkey, the Monkey Party candidate in the UK Local Elections was busy campaigning for a waterslide at the Royal Edinburgh Commonwealth Pool. One of the key policys of the Monkey Party manifesto.

Our wee monkey was busy today with his election campaign.

Our wee monkey wrote a email to the the City of Edinburgh Council demanding a waterslide to be be built.

The email is as follows:

“Sir,

Regarding the £37 million refurbishment of the Edinburgh Royal Commonwealth Pool, I cannot understand why no waterslide was built? Surely with £37 million, some funds could had been set aside for a waterslide? Where did this money go? It is a scandal!

A google search found this waterslide at a mere cheap £200. http://www.amazon.co.uk/Giant-Inflatable-Water-Slide-Blower/dp/B003UMEBQE/ref=sr_1_12?s=kids&ie=UTF8&qid=1335293310&sr=1-12

Could it be installed into the Commonwealth Pool?

I have spoken to many residents of Edinburgh and they say that the Commonwealth Pool is boring as it has no wave machine or waterslide! There is nothing to do other than swim around in a rectangular pool!

That is why I prefer Waterworld in Ayia Napa, Cyprus – it is fun!

Love and kisses,

Monkey

Official candidate for the Monkey Party”

We hope that the council respond to popular public demand.

It is also noted that despite invitations for a leader’s debate sent out to all of the mainstream political parties earlier in the week, none had responded to take up the challenge of a one to one live TV debate with our wee monkey. Are they scared of facing up to the voice of reason that is our wee monkey? Scared of being made a fool of by the cuddly toy monkey?

The Monkey Party Secretary


The MONKEY PARTY campaign for the Local Elections – part 4

Today our wee monkey, the Monkey Party candidate in the UK Local Elections was busy studying the financial growth forecast charts of our great nation. He is not happy! Not happy indeed.

News this week, released by the ONS that our country is back in recession is worrying. The three in one party LABLIBCON had failed us. They are incompetent. Far from getting our country moving again following the 2008 banking crisis, they had brought this country once again back to it knees. Our wee monkey is not happy with our failed coalition government.

Today our wee monkey was busy reading the Financial Times studying the charts for the UK economy.

This chart belows shows the decline in the UK ecomony under the coalition government:

The chart shows the decline in the UK ecomony under the coalition government.

This chart below shows the growth forecast of the UK ecomony under a Monkey Party government:

The charts shows the growth forecast of the UK ecomony under a Monkey Party government.

As the charts clearly demonstrates, we at the Monkey Party are able to flip and turn charts by using Microsoft Paint.

Only by voting the Monkey Party on May 3rd can we get the “Great” back into Britain.

Vote monkey on May 3rd and see the change.

The Monkey Party Secretary


The MONKEY PARTY campaign for the Local Elections – part 3

Our wee monkey was out on the streets of Edinburgh today campaigning for his bid for a seat on the City of Edinburgh Council.

Many people today expressed their support for our wee monkey and yesterday a blogger on this very website stated that he would wear a monkey outfit to help bring back common sense to British politics.

After visiting local residents this morning, our wee monkey spent the afternoon in his office organizing his campaign.

He wrote a letter to the Scottish Conservative Party local candidate today challenging him to a live TV debate.

Our wee monkey spent the afternoon in his office writing letters and emails.

We look forward to hearing from the Torys to see if they will accept our challenge.

The letter was sent to the Scottish Conservative Party challenging them to a live TV debate with our wee monkey.

Monkey then wrote an email to the Edinburgh Council demanding that a water slide is built at the Royal Commonwealth Pool.

The email said:

“Are their any plans to build a huge waterslide at the newly refurbished Royal Commonwealth Pool. It would be fun!”

This waterslide which can be purchased online is only £199.95, so why did a £37 million refurbishment of the pool not been able to purchase one? Where did the £37 million go? It is a scandal.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Giant-Inflatable-Water-Slide-Blower/dp/B003UMEBQE/ref=sr_1_12?s=kids&ie=UTF8&qid=1335293310&sr=1-12

If you want to send an email to Edinburgh Council demanding a waterslide to be built at the Royal Commonwealth Pool please use this link:

https://www.edinburgh.gov.uk/forms/form/5/en/make_a_suggestion_compliment_or_complaint

If you wish to volunteer your time and join the Monkey Party campaigning team, please email us at our usual email address.

Put an end to this madness and vote Monkey on May 3rd.

A vote for Monkey is a vote for common sense.

The Monkey Party secretary