He knows no fear!

Celebration

Sgt Monkey retirement

It is with sad news to announce that Sgt Monkey has retired from the British Army.

Our wee cuddly toy has served the Queen and country for over twenty years and has earnt a chestful of medals.

The simple truth is that our wee monkey can no longer climb over the 12 ft wall on the obstacle course.

Monkey in his uniform.

Monkey in his uniform.

From now on, we will call our wee cuddly toy monkey Mr Monkey. We will still call this website the Sgt Monkey website as it is too complicated to change the name of our website.

We ask all of our monkey fans to address monkey as Mr Monkey from now on when sending him an email or when putting a comment on to the blog.

Our wee cuddly toy has decided to go into the porn industry as a filmmaker. Our next door neighbours has agreed to help him as the cast for his first movie to be titled “What goes on upstairs?”

The movie is expected to be release on YouTube this coming winter.

We wish our wee cuddly toy all the best in his new chosen career.

– The webmaster team –

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50000 hits celebration!

The OFFICAL Sgt. Monkey website is please to announce that at 1943 hours on Monday 13th July 2015, we had recieved our 50000th hit.

Stories of our wee monkey adventures and gossip is bringing in new bloggers each day.

Obviously the recent adventures of our cuddly toy whilst in Turkey attracted new bloggers to this website.

Our wee cuddly toy was getting p***ed tonight to celebration this fantastic news.

Getting drunk....

Getting drunk…

To celebrate this milestone we at the webmaster offices are giving away a free monkey poo sample of shampoo to a lucky monkey fan. The lucky winner will be able wash his or her hair using this specially made bottle of shampoo that our wee monkey has poop into, this gives that extra shine to your hair and that authentic smell of the jungle fragrance.

To win this prize all you have to do is to email our webmaster offices on our usual email a 250 word statement stating why you love our website. The winner will be notified via email and told to collect their prize at a Argos shop and collect point.

Competition closing date 5pm Friday 17th July 2015.

Good luck with your entries.

We will of course keep you all up to date of Sgt. Monkey gossip and adventures.

The webmaster team


25000 hits celebration!

The OFFICAL Sgt. Monkey website is please to announce that at 2345 hours on Friday 8th February 2013, we had recieved our 25000th hit.

Stories of our wee monkey adventures and gossip is bringing in new bloggers each day.

We are still running the “Where’s monkey” poll and the deadline is 28th February 2013.

The poll is here:

https://britisharmysgtmonkey.wordpress.com/2012/12/31/poll-wheres-monkey/

Please enter our poll as we are giving out prizes to those with the correct answer.

We will of course keep you all up to date of Sgt. Monkey gossip and adventures.

The webmaster team


The OFFICAL Sgt. Monkey website one year anniversary celebrations

On Saturday 4th August 2012 – the OFFICAL Sgt. Monkey website became one year old. YES we kept the website in business for one year.

In the website we told you of our wee cuddly toy monkey adventures travelling the world, fighting for Queen and country, his Olympic Games dream, his political party campaign, his illness and his numerous sex scandals.

Over 16000 of you had log into our website to read our gossip and 43 of you are following our website via email.

Many of you have commented on our wee cuddly toy activities and those who gave bad comments had been executed by our complaints investigation team.

We had competitions and some of you had won amazing prizes.

Our wee cuddly toy was partying on Saturday night at the website offices.

Getting drunk….

The monkey got blind drunk and tried to pull our office secretary before vomiting in the back garden.

Monkey was sick in the garden….

Our wee monkey then spent the rest of the weekend in bed hungover. He failed to show up for work on Monday morning much to the annoyance of the Sergeant Major.

However, our wee monkey did say to us this morning that he thank all his fans who follows his website and he hopes that we will still have enough funds left to keep this website up and running for another twelve months.

The webmaster team


The MONKEY PARTY campaign for the Local Elections – Results

Today, we at the Monkey Party made massive gains.

In the Edinburgh ward where our party leader stood as a candidate, we achieved 30 votes! This is a increase of 25 votes on our Scottish Elections campaign last year and 28 votes more than what the Monkey Party achieved in the 2010 General Elections.

This result is a 600% increase on last year results and once again proving that we are the fastest growing polictical party in the UK.

For a political party that is only three years old, we are growing more and getting bigger. We expect this growth to continue for the 2015 General Elections where we expect our wee monkey to become Prime Minister.

There was celebrations today in the Monkey Party HQs.

Monkey was partying this morning after hearing the news of our 600% increase in our share of votes.

So we didn’t win any seats on Edinburgh Council – sucks! But we gave the ruling three in one party LABLIBCON a bloody good kicking didn’t we? huh?

The Monkey Party secretary


10000 hits celebration!

The OFFICAL Sgt. Monkey website is please to announce that at 1235 hours on Wednesday 25th April 2012, we had recieved our 10000th hit.

The news articles about our wee monkey election bid in the UK Local Elections is bring in new bloggers each day to our website. Our wee monkey is the leader of the Monkey Party and is the fastest growing political party in the UK.

We are please to annouce that our 10000th hitter competition has a winner! But who is it? We have no ideal! If you are the person that made the 10000th hit at 1235 hours today (BST time) please email us to claim your prize. Proof that you were the 10000th hitter is required.

The prize is a packet of monkey nuts.

The 10000th hitter had won a packet of monkey nuts!

We look forward to hearing from our 10000th hitter.

If you missed out on this competition, don’t worry as we are still running the “Where’s monkey” competition and the deadline is 30th April 2012.

The competition is here:

https://britisharmysgtmonkey.wordpress.com/2012/03/23/competition-wheres-monkey/

We will of course keep you all up to date of Sgt. Monkey gossip and adventures.

The webmaster team


7500 hits celebration!

The OFFICAL Sgt. Monkey website is please to announce that at 0825 hours on Wednesday 14th March 2012, we had recieved our 7500th hit.

The stories about our wee monkey travels around the world is bringing in new bloggers each day.

We will also be bringing you the Monkey Party response to the 2012 budget report by the coalition government next week. The Monkey Party is the fastest growing political party in the UK.

Don’t forget that we are running our 10000th hitter competition for person that makes the 10000th hit to win a packet of monkey nuts so keep logging on!

We will of course keep you all up to date of Sgt. Monkey gossip and adventures.

The webmaster team