After my defeat in the elections and my fall from grace as leader of the Monkey Party I decided to spend more time with my family and go on a holiday to Spain for a week.
My accommodation was a self-catering rental in the centre of Malaga old town.
Not only were we in the heart of the town for the tapas bars and nightlife but we had a lovely roof top terrace with sunbeds, a roofed patio and a BBQ.
This meant I was able to sunbath away from the crowded public beaches and thus bathe in the nude which is great for getting that all sexy tanned cotton fur.
The next day we went to look at the Moorish fort in the centre of Malaga. The Alcazaba fort is well preserved fort and was built in the 11th century.
The fort has free entry on Sundays.
Next to the fort is a old Roman theatre.
After many days of being lazy and sunbathing we took a hour long bus to Antequera and then a short taxi ride to El Torcal Nature Reserve for some trekking. The park is some 30kms north of Malaga.
El Torcel Nature Reserve is famous for it unusual limestone rock formations.
The whole area was under the sea untill one hundred million years ago. The movements of the Earth’s crust forced it upwards into hills, the limestone kept rising in layered horizontal rock formations.
Over the years, rain and wind had chisel away the rocks to form unusual shapes.
Our walk begins at the visitors centre.
A number of walks are marked out with different coloured arrows. The green route is the shortest at 1.5 kms and is cluttered during the day of school children field trips.The yellow route follows on from the green route and is 2.5 kms whilst the red route is the longest at 4.5 kms. The red route has a viewpoint at 1339m altitude where the coast of Africa can be seen on a clear day.
The green route was very noisy with school trips. Once we had left the green route to join the yellow route, we more or less had the whole route to ourselves as very few people do the yellow or the red route.
It was quite cold and windy up here despite the warm sunshine at the coast before we headed up the mountains.
The nature reserve is captivated with 30 varieties of plant growing in the park.
The flora within the park is protected.
We decided that the next day we would take the three hour bus journey to Seville. When the next day arrived, we were so tired and knackered from our trekking the previous day that we decided to stay in bed. So no three hour bus trips.
I got myself a new hunting knife from an outdoors shop for a fraction of the price of UK shops. This made me feel like a big boy now.
I also went to a sex shop to top up my porn DVDs collection.
Soon our week was over and I had to head back to the barracks for duties.
For more information about El Torcal please visit (you need to be able to read Spanish!):
On my last day in Tenerife, I was going to Mount Teide (Pico del Teide). This is a volcano peak and the third highest volcano in the world, after Mauna Kea and Mauna Loa in Hawaii. It stands at 3,718-metre (12,198 ft) and is the highest peak in Spain. It is still active as an volcano but is currently dormant. The last eruption occurred in 1909 from the El Chinyero vent.
The volcano is within the Teide National Park and was named a World Heritage Site by UNESCO in 2007.
I parked the car at the Park HQs near the Roque Cinchado rock formation.
It was a sunny clear day and I wanted to get a photo of me next to the volcano.
The Roque Cinchado is a unique rock formation within the Teide National Park and is located about 1700 metres below the summit of Teide volcano. With the volcano in the background, this is a great location for photographs.
I was going to be trekking around the rock formations.
I trekked for two hours.
After my trek I was hungry and ate my sandwiches in the Park HQs.
My Colonel phoned me and asked me to return back to the barracks for a secret mission behind enemy lines.
For more information on Teide National Park please visit:
Today I was going to go to the forests of Tenerife to look for rare and endangered wild animals.
Whilst I was in a bar last night, I was chatting to a few of the locals who told me of a rumor that “Giant Pandas” are native to Tenerife. Despite the rumors no video or photographic evidence had been produced showing the Tenerife Giant Pandas and all witnesses to the Pandas had been ridiculed as barking mad people. However, the latest edition of the “Tenerife Weekly” English speaking newspaper had a feature story on the evidence of fossils findings of Giant Pandas. The scientists had proof that Giant Pandas were in Tenerife 11.6 million years ago.
Now you may think that Giant Pandas come from China, but I was determined to be the first to photograph the Giant Pandas of Tenerife and to prove that Giant Pandas are still alive in the forests of Tenerife.
With my expert guide Mr. E the expert naturalist, I set about making my discovery. Mr. E’s daughter claims to had seen the Tenerife Giant Pandas herself, but noone believes her… she is only 2!
I was heading to the mountains of the Macizo de Anaga range in the northeastern part of the island of Tenerife.
The mountain range with its altitude and the passage of the tradewinds is converted into a specially humid zone, which favors the existence of special diversity for the natural habitats, including the laurisilva trees. The forests on these mountains are a unique feature of this part of Tenerife which is generally dry. It was these forests I was going to be exploring today.
I drove up the TF-123 road and was climbing high into the mountains. It was cooler here up in the mountains. I was heading for the car park at a bunkhouse lodge called the Montes de Anaga Hostel.
The views from the lodge were great.
I could see all the way down to the coast.
From here on, we were to travel on foot through thick forests. Were we going to see the Tenerife Giant Panda?
We trekked for several hours, whilst our guide Mr E. used all his tracking skills to track down the Pandas.
We were using our ears and eyes to look for the Pandas.
Suddenly, our guide Mr. E trod on some Panda poo and his shoes began to stink of Panda’s crap. We knew that we were close to the Pandas.
We then heard it.
The rustles of leaves moving.
It was something big….
Through the vegetation we saw it!
THE TENERIFE GIANT PANDA!
We saw it!
I saw it and I managed to take three photographs.
The Panda ran off into the thick forest but I already had the photographs.
Mr E. our guide was going to submit our photographs to the University of Madrid tomorrow.
To be continued….
Last week I was enjoying a winter sun holiday in Tenerife in Spain. Tenerife is one of the one of the Canary Islands.
I was eager to top up my sexy fluffy tan whilst my mates back in my detachment freeze their nuts off whilst training in the Scottish Mountains.
I decided to stay in the sea resort of El Médano. A place of strong winds. This place is the place to go to for windsports and also watersports. El Médano is one of the world’s best windsurfing/kitesurfing locations.
The town square is in front of the main beach, which holds many local fiestas.
The first day was a cloudy day but it was still 21 degrees Celsius, alot warmer than Scotland. My plan was to climb the volcano outside El Médano called the Red Mountain (La Montaña Roja).
On the other side of the Red Mountain was a nudist beach called La Tejita. The nudist area is a small cove nearest to the mountain. I eager to show off my naked body to the Spanish gals and to see the gals naked too!
The climb up the mountain took me about an hour. The volcanic rock turns red as it oxidize with the air giving the mountain an red appearance.
At the summit I was able to peep down to the nudist beach and I could see naked gals. I was coming down whooooohoooo.
The clouds began to clear up and I was ready to get my kit off on the beach. Naked sunbathing is legal in Tenerife.
The cliffs around the mountain was great.
I reached the beach of La Tejita and the sun was coming out.
I got naked as I know a naked tanned monkey is good for the gals.
It was at that point that I became upset as I discover that all the naked gals were old aged pensioners! I saw a lot of saggy bums.
The sun setted over the beach.
Tomorrow I was going to go the forests of Tenerife to look for exciting rare wild animals.
To be continued….
For more information on El Médano please visit:
My foster auntie is taking me to Tenerife in Spain for a winter sun holiday.
I am excited at the news that I am going to Tenerife in December for some winter sun and sexy girls. I can’t wait to top up my tan and drink cheap booze whilst all my mates in Scotland freeze in artic blizzards.
A quick reminder that the deadline for entry into the current “Where’s Monkey?” competition is October 31st 2012.
All you have to do is to guess where is our wee cuddly toy monkey is in this photograph:
If you think you know the answer and have not entered yet, then please see the link below for the full competition details:
So get guessing and all the best of luck.
The webmaster team
Today I was going to do some sight seeing as my wee poorly feet were sore and had blisters on from the last two treks.
I was going to see the towns of Cangas de Onis and Covadonga.
Cangas de Onis is a town in the eastern part of the province of Asturias.
An ancient Roman bridge lead into the town.
Cangas de Onis is not only an ideal base for trekking, but also kayaking in the river.
The town was small but pleasent for a wee stay.
Santa Cruz de Cangas de Onís is a small chapel in the town. It was founded on an artificial mound by Favila, second king of Asturias. It was begun in 737 and consecrated that same year on 27 October according to its original foundation stone, which has been called the first literary monument of the Reconquista.
Santa Cruz originally housed the Cruz de la Victoria, an oak cross supposedly carried by Pelagius, Favila’s father, at the Battle of Covadonga.
The Battle of Covadonga of 722 was the first major victory by a Christian military force in Iberia following the Muslim Moors’ conquest in 711. The victory is regarded as the beginning of the Reconquista from the Muslins.
We then drove to the town of Covadonga. A huge Basilica devoted to Pelagius is seen from all around.
Our Lady of Covadonga is a title of the Virgin Mary, and a shrine devoted to her at Covadonga.
According to tradition Pelagius retreated to a cave where a hermit had hidden a statue of the Virgin Mary from the Moors. He prayed to the virgin for victory.
After visiting Covadonga, I went to the village of Poo to laugh at the village name sign.
Then I headed to the Colon Bar for a stiff drink.
All around Northern Spain were large Storks and it is common to see their nests on top of towers, rooftops and columns.
My Colonel phoned me up saying he had an urgent mission for me behind enemy lines. So I flew back to my barracks for a mission briefing.
For more information about the town of Cangas de Onis and Covadonga please visit:
The next walk on our trip to the Picos de Europa in Northern Spain was to the Lakes of Covadonga. They are two lakes at an altitude of 1134 metres above sea level in the Picos de Europa National Park.
The two lakes are are Lake Enol and Lake Ercina and was the original center of the Picos de Europa National Park back in 1918.
Auntie was driving us to the visitors centre at the lakes. The road that leads to the lakes starts at Covadonga and is 12.6 kilometres long at an average gradient of 7.3%. The most demanding section is La Huesera, 7 kilometres from the top of the climb, with an average gradient of 15%. It was a hair raising drive up to the lakes. At times I had to get out and push the car – I am only 30 cms tall! It was scary.
We eventually got to the car park and admired the mountain peaks.
Near the car park lie the Mines of Buferrera, some five minutes walk from the lakes. We made a small circuit walk in this abandoned mining area, which used to produce iron and magnesium. It operated between the years 1893 and 1932.
We decided to do a circular walk over the grassy grazing grounds of the lakes by foot.
The snow top peaks are of the western massif of Picos de Europa range.
Swimming was not allowed in the lakes.
I kept my eye out for any hungry cuddly toy eating Wolves.
A little hill was halfway between the two lakes and we were able to look down on to the lakes.
It was well into the thirties here and I was glad I had put on my suncream over my cotton fur.
Going beyond the lakes we came across a remote chapel.
Not sure why this was built here.
After the trek, we headed back down to Covadonga for blue cheese sauce chips.
To be continued….
For more information about the Lakes of Covadonga please visit: