Hello voters and monkey fans. It is only two months before the General Elections in the UK. This is a chance for REAL change. Yes “REAL” change. Let us kick out the elitist politicians and put our wee cuddly toy monkey into power.
Only a monkey cuddly toy can represent us the working class. With Sgt. Monkey as our Prime Minister we will guarantee the following:
No more tax rises
No more illegal wars
No more expenses scandals
No more poverty
No more homelessness
No more job losses
No more low pay
No more recession
No more bank bail outs
No more banker bonuses
No more lost of pensions
No more lost of personal savings
In addition we promise to send Tony Blair to the International War Crimes Tribual in the Hague.
We believe that ex-prime ministers must be held to account for their own actions.
Are you fed up of the same LABLIBCON polictians ruining our once great country then vote MONKEY on May 7th and see the REAL change.
We are today officially starting our 2015 General Elections campaign today. The MONKEY PARTY is the fastest growing political party in the UK. We offer real change to the 70 years of corruption by the ruling political elite.
Over the years we the MONKEY PARTY had stood up to the LABLIBCON stooges and offer REAL change to the ordinary people of the UK. This is our second General Election campaign and we are roaring to FIGHT. Are you?
Please study our policys that we had proposed over the years.
You may had remember our policys such as our opposition to the sex tax a.k.a “bonk” tax. You may also remember that we support joining the BUMS organisation (Borneo Union of Member States). You may also remember our cuddly toy moon landing program. You may also remember our opposition to the Edinburgh trams farce and our alternative scheme for the piggyback to work scheme. We also campaign for an inflatable water slide to be built in Edinburgh swimming pool. You may also remember that we propose that we drop the collapsing British pound and instead base a new currency called the COCO based upon our coconuts standard reserve. Finally would could forget out unsuccessful campaign in 2010 to bring back Captain Caveman to our telly.
We need volunteers in our 2015 General Elections campaign.
Can you spare a few hours a week to help us with our campaign?
We need volunteers to deliver our leaflets and to knock on people doors. Can you help? If so, please contact our webmaster on our usual email and tell us how you can help the MONKEY PARTY campaign.
We will give all of our campaign volunteers a pistachio nut for their hard work.
We don’t pay bus fare expenses as unlike the mainstream policical parties we do not accept lobbyist bribes and thus we are skint.
Please join the FIGHT back.
The Monkey Party secretary
Today, we at the Monkey Party made massive gains.
In the Edinburgh ward where our party leader stood as a candidate, we achieved 30 votes! This is a increase of 25 votes on our Scottish Elections campaign last year and 28 votes more than what the Monkey Party achieved in the 2010 General Elections.
This result is a 600% increase on last year results and once again proving that we are the fastest growing polictical party in the UK.
For a political party that is only three years old, we are growing more and getting bigger. We expect this growth to continue for the 2015 General Elections where we expect our wee monkey to become Prime Minister.
There was celebrations today in the Monkey Party HQs.
So we didn’t win any seats on Edinburgh Council – sucks! But we gave the ruling three in one party LABLIBCON a bloody good kicking didn’t we? huh?
The Monkey Party secretary
Tomorrow is the UK Local Elections 2012. This is your chance to stick your two fingers up to the three in one party LABLIBCON. Our ruling politicians had failed us. They are corrupt, they fiddle whilst Rome burns. Too busy filing expenses form whilst we the people rot with high unemployment and national debt! It is time to replace our government with a cuddly toy. Our wee monkey doesn’t speak, doesn’t move or make any expressions but we do know one thing for sure – he will do a better job of running over councils than any LABLIBCON politician.
Tomorrow vote the MONKEY PARTY for a better Britain.
Exit polls are showing a massive increase in the popularity of the MONKEY PARTY.
The Monkey Party Secretary.
With only two days to go before the elections, we ask everyone to read the Monkey Party manifesto and make up their minds.
Please read our full manifesto here:
Our wee monkey is a councillor candidiate for Edinburgh Council.
Our wee monkey is a very nice monkey, he is a traveller having travelled the world experiencing different cultures and people. He is an adventurer having trek the Sahara desert and climbed Mount Everest. He is a honest little monkey and is loyal to his girlfriend. He got his first aid badge in the Cub Scouts. He has served Queen and Country in the British Army and is proud of his service. Please vote for him, he is a lovely monkey.
If you vote for Monkey and Monkey get elected into Edinburgh Council, this picture represents how Edinburgh will look in 12 months time:
If you vote for the lying deceiving three in one party LABLIBCON then this picture will represent how Edinburgh will look in 12 months time:
Vote Monkey on May 3rd to bring back common sense to British Politics.
The Monkey Party secretary
Today our wee monkey, the Monkey Party candidate in the UK Local Elections was busy studying the financial growth forecast charts of our great nation. He is not happy! Not happy indeed.
News this week, released by the ONS that our country is back in recession is worrying. The three in one party LABLIBCON had failed us. They are incompetent. Far from getting our country moving again following the 2008 banking crisis, they had brought this country once again back to it knees. Our wee monkey is not happy with our failed coalition government.
This chart belows shows the decline in the UK ecomony under the coalition government:
This chart below shows the growth forecast of the UK ecomony under a Monkey Party government:
As the charts clearly demonstrates, we at the Monkey Party are able to flip and turn charts by using Microsoft Paint.
Only by voting the Monkey Party on May 3rd can we get the “Great” back into Britain.
Vote monkey on May 3rd and see the change.
The Monkey Party Secretary