Today our wee monkey was busy intimidating voters to vote for him. The Monkey Party campaign team recruited the local street gang “da boyz” to help him persade voters to vote for him. They used unreasonable levels of force to get the voters to vote for him.
Some voters required a severe kicking as they were harder to persade (must be the Labour supporters).
Because of our dirty tactics, we at the Monkey Party HQs expect major victories tomorrow when the results are announce.
With three hours left in the polls, if you had not voted yet – please get to the polling stations and VOTE MONKEY for a better Britain.
The Monkey Party secretary