He knows no fear!

Posts tagged “sunbathing

My travels to Turkey in 2015 – part 3

Today I was going to visit Dalyan and the river delta.

The river town of Dalyan.

The river town of Dalyan.

At the town of Dalyan, traditional turkish boats take tourists along the river delta to the various attractions for 35 TL (approx. £8.75). Along the way I got to see the rock tombs, the mudbaths and Iztuzu beach also known as Turtle beach as well as Kaunos ruins.

A traditional fishing boat on the river.

A traditional fishing boat on the river.

The small boat was packed with over thirty tourists and was very crowded. Most of them were inconsiderately smoking in such a small confined space!

The Lycian tock tombs at Dalyan.

The Lycian rock tombs at Dalyan.

On the way to Iztuzu beach, we passed the Lycian Tombs.

Crusing past the rock tombs.

Crusing past the rock tombs.

After a few kilometres, the boat arrives at the back of Iztuzu beach.

The boat jetty at the rear of the beach.

The boat jetty at the rear of the beach.

Iztuzu beach is a reserve and turtles lay their eggs there, it is lovely and unspoilt.

Many daytrippers boats are here.

Many daytrippers boats are here.

Turtles can be seen in the waters around the boats.

The beach is 7kms long.

The beach is 7kms long.

The beach is very busy with daytrippers from all of the nearby resorts.

Walking along the beach.

Walking along the beach.

You can walk the 7km along the beach from one end to the other, but take plenty of water as there are only two beach cafes on the beach and very little shade.

I walked to the very end of the beach.

I walked to the very end of the beach.

The beach is closed to the public at nighttime due to turtles activities.

Tracks of a turtle running up a sand dune.

Tracks of a turtle running up a sand dune.

Beach wardens protect the nests.

A protected turtle nest.

A protected turtle nest.

After spending a few hours on the beach we headed to the mudbaths for a quick bath in the mud.

A quick bath to rejuvenate my skin.

A quick bath to rejuvenate my skin.

The mudbaths are said to have mineral properties to rejuvenate the skin.

Our last stop on the boat trip was to visit the Kaunos ruins. Kaunos was an ancient and important seaport. It has both Greek and Roman influence. The ruins date back to the 10th century BC.

Kaunos was a important seaport.

Kaunos was a important seaport.

Due to the silting of the bay of Dalyan, the ruins of Kaunos are now located about 8kms from the coast.

The theater has seating for 5000 people.

The theatre has seating for 5000 people.

The theatre is still used for performances.

The Heraklion fortress above the ruin city.

The Heraklion fortress above the ruin city.

A little lake forms what used to be the main seaport.

The old seaport.

The old seaport.

The city was abandoned in the 15th century AD following a malaria outbreak.

A Grecko sits on the wall.

A grecko sits on the wall.

On my return back to my appartment I was horrified to see a Praying Mantis (Mantis religiosa) on my balcony.

A Prayer Mantis on my balcony.

A Prayer Mantis on my balcony.

Fearing for my life, I had to run away! Something that I am well used to from my army days.

A close up of the Mantis.

A close up of the Mantis.

On my last day of my holiday I was going into the mountains to Saklikent Gorge. It is 50kms from Fethiye. The gorge is 20kms in length and 300 metres high.

Saklikent Gorge is over 20kms long.

Saklikent Gorge is over 20kms long.

The gorge is one of the longest in the world and I was going to walk several kilometres inland. With the water running down the gorge, the walk requires wading through the water up to waist height or in my case (as I am only 30 cms tall) being totally submerged.

A wooden walkway at the start of the gorge

A wooden walkway at the start of the gorge

A wooden walkway at the start of the gorge is the entry point into the gorge. After a few hundred metres, the walkway ends at a cafe. From here onwards, tourists must wade through the water. Safety ropes are in place for handholds. Tourists can only wade through the gorge in the summer months for safety reasons.

It is one of the longest gorges in the world.

It is one of the longest gorges in the world.

Finally, I went white water tubing down the river. After a knackering day at the gorge I headed back to the apartment where I spent my last night to a night of love with a sexy gal (I had to pay her fifty Euros). Then it was back to work the following Monday *sniffs*.

– The end –

For more information about Turkey please visit:

www.goturkey.com

Advertisements

My travels to Turkey in 2015 – part 1

I am back from my two week holiday in Turkey.

I was staying in a self-catering appartment in Göcek near to the tourist resort of Fethiye. By staying in Göcek I was away from the tacky all day English breakfast cafes and Sky Sports TV bars that is awash with sunburnt rowdy English louts who are on their tenth pint of beer by midday.

A map of the part of Turkey I was travelling around.

A map of the part of Turkey that I was travelling around.

Göcek is a small town in Fethiye district in Muğla Province, Turkey. It was named “Kalimche” in ancient times, and is located near to Dalyan and Caunos in ancient times.

The town mosque with the butchers on the corner.

The town mosque with the butchers on the corner.

The town itself has many marinas and is popular as a destination for yachting.

One of the marinas in Göcek.

One of the marinas in Göcek.

My appartment had an swimming pool that I was able to relax at.

Topping up my sexy cotton fur tan!

Topping up my sexy cotton fur tan!

For my first day of sightseeing I was going to visit Fethiye marina and also see the Lycian rock tombs.

A boat passes the front of the marina.

A boat passes the front of the marina.

It was good to take a walk along the marina.

Walking around the marina.

Walking around the marina.

Many boats here can be chartered here for daytrips to the islands.

Traditional fishing boats as well as super yachts.

Traditional fishing boats as well as super yachts.

In the marina I saw two turtles.

A turtle swims under a boat.

A turtle swims under a boat.

Turtles are common on this part of the Turkish coastline.

A second turtle appeared.

A second turtle appeared.

The historic region of Lycia was a geopolitical region in the provinces of Antalya and Muğla on the southern coast of Turkey.

The ancient Lycian Rock Tombs.

The ancient Lycian Rock Tombs.

The landscape of this region is scattered with over 1400 rock tombs. The tombs date back to the 4th century.

I was enjoying my sightseeing.

I was enjoying my sightseeing.

The Lycians believed that their dead were carried to the afterlife by magic winged creatures and thus they placed their honored dead in geographically high places such as the cliffside.

Ancient burial tombs.

Ancient burial tombs.

The fee to enter the tombs is 5 TL (approx. £1.25).

Steps led up to the tombs.

Steps led up to the tombs.

Getting to the tombs from the marina is easy as the tombs are easily visable from the marina. Just keep walking uphill to get to them.

I got up the steps to the top.

I got up the steps to the top.

From the top, the whole of Fethyie can be viewed.

I need water after this climb!

I need water after this climb!

Within the area of the tombs were wild tortoises.

A wild tortoise.

A wild tortoise.

They were a common sight.

I was able to get close up photographs.

I was able to get close up photographs.

After visiting the tombs I made my way back to my appartment for some serious sunbathing with a very sexy gal at the pool.

To be continued….

For more information about Turkey please visit:

www.goturkey.com


My travels to Malaga, Spain in 2015

After my defeat in the elections and my fall from grace as leader of the Monkey Party I decided to spend more time with my family and go on a holiday to Spain for a week.

The flag of Spain.

The flag of Spain.

My accommodation was a self-catering rental in the centre of Malaga old town.

Not only were we in the heart of the town for the tapas bars and nightlife but we had a lovely roof top terrace with sunbeds, a roofed patio and a BBQ.

I was relaxing on the roof top.

I was relaxing on the roof top.

This meant I was able to sunbath away from the crowded public beaches and thus bathe in the nude which is great for getting that all sexy tanned cotton fur.

I was able to sunbathe in the nude.

I was able to sunbathe in the nude.

The next day we went to look at the Moorish fort in the centre of Malaga. The Alcazaba fort is well preserved fort and was built in the 11th century.

The Alcazaba of Malaga is well preserved.

The Alcazaba of Malaga is well preserved.

The fort has free entry on Sundays.

Next to the fort is a old Roman theatre.

A well preserved Roman theatre that is still in use today.

A well preserved Roman theatre that is still in use today.

After many days of being lazy and sunbathing we took a hour long bus to Antequera and then a short taxi ride to El Torcal Nature Reserve for some trekking. The park is some 30kms north of Malaga.

El Torcal Nature Reserve is famous for it rock formations.

El Torcal Nature Reserve is famous for it rock formations.

El Torcel Nature Reserve is famous for it unusual limestone rock formations.

The limestone has formed unusual shapes due to rain and wind.

The limestone has formed unusual shapes due to rain and wind.

The whole area was under the sea untill one hundred million years ago. The movements of the Earth’s crust forced it upwards into hills, the limestone kept rising in layered horizontal rock formations.

The rocks are layered.

The rocks are layered.

Over the years, rain and wind had chisel away the rocks to form unusual shapes.

A cow walks by.

A cow walks by.

Our walk begins at the visitors centre.

The start of our walk.

The start of our walk.

A number of walks are marked out with different coloured arrows. The green route is the shortest at 1.5 kms and is cluttered during the day of school children field trips.The yellow route follows on from the green route and is 2.5 kms whilst the red route is the longest at 4.5 kms. The red route has a viewpoint at 1339m altitude where the coast of Africa can be seen on a clear day.

The route was clearly signposted.

The route was clearly signposted.

The green route was very noisy with school trips. Once we had left the green route to join the yellow route, we more or less had the whole route to ourselves as very few people do the yellow or the red route.

It was cold and windy in the mountains.

It was cold and windy in the mountains.

It was quite cold and windy up here despite the warm sunshine at the coast before we headed up the mountains.

Unusual rock formations.

Unusual rock formations.

Rock stacks.

Rock stacks.

I was admiring the rock formations.

I was admiring the rock formations.

I was enjoying the sights.

I was enjoying the sights.

The nature reserve is captivated with 30 varieties of plant growing in the park.

Plenty of plant life.

Plenty of plant life.

The flora within the park is protected.

Out in blossom.

Out in blossom.

We decided that the next day we would take the three hour bus journey to Seville. When the next day arrived, we were so tired and knackered from our trekking the previous day that we decided to stay in bed. So no three hour bus trips.

I got myself a new hunting knife from an outdoors shop for a fraction of the price of UK shops. This made me feel like a big boy now.

I also went to a sex shop to top up my porn DVDs collection.

Shopping in Malaga was great.

Shopping in Malaga was great.

Soon our week was over and I had to head back to the barracks for duties.

For more information about El Torcal please visit (you need to be able to read Spanish!):

www.torcaldeantequera.com


My travels to Greece in 2014 – part 1

After a hard few months drilling my troops on the parade square, the Colonel has given me a weeks leave. My Auntie decided that we should go to Greece for some winter sun.

I arrived in Athens, the capital of Greece. Athens is one of the world’s oldest cities, with its history spanning around 3,400 years. It was a somewhat hot day with temperatures of 21 degrees and blue skies so I was looking forward to stripping down to my speedos when we hit the beach phwwooaarr…. I made sure that I had my speedos packed as I wanted to flash my assets to the greek gals.

The flag of Greece.

The flag of Greece.

My first tourist attraction was the Parliament building just off Syntagma Square and to inspect the soldiers at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.

The Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.

The Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.

The guards stand in front of the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.

These guards stood motionless even after I had farted!

These guards stood motionless even after I had farted!

The elite Evzones light infantry unit, provide a 24-hour honor guard, with an hourly guard change.

Not even a blink!

Not even a blink!

The Changing the Guard at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier in particular has become a tourist attraction, with many people marvelling at the guards, who stand motionless during their one hour shifts.

They change the guards on the hour.

They change the guards on the hour.

On the way back to my hotel, I stopped by one of the many sex shops that are in Athens.

I stocked up my porn DVD collection.

I stocked up my porn DVD collection.

The next day my Auntie took me island hoping and the chance to enjoy some winter sun. We took the ferry to the island of Aegina 17 miles (27 km) from Athens. It was a really hot day and definitely a day for sunbathing and sexy gals.

The sea was so calm, definitely a day for swimming.

The sea was so calm, definitely a day for swimming.

From the ferry I could see the Temple of Apollo.

From the ferry I could see the Temple of Apollo.

Coming into port.

Coming into port.

Aegina is a small island and it is the nearest island to Athens and so it is popular vacation place for the Greeks especially in the summer.

Old fishing boats in Aegina harbour.

Old fishing boats in Aegina harbour.

Aegina town has many side streets for a pleasant walk.

The cathedral of Saint Nectarios of Aegina.

The cathedral of Saint Nectarios of Aegina.

Olives growing on trees.

Olives growing on trees.

Aegina is famous for it pistachio nuts. A 500g bag of nuts cost 6 Euros.

A pistachio nuts stall.

A pistachio nuts stall.

Before we headed to the beach, my Auntie wanted us to see the Temple of Apollo.

The ruins of the ancient settlement.

The ruins of the ancient settlement.

This temple is only a short walk from the port.

I was taking in the sights.

I was taking in the sights.

It cost only 2 Euros to visit the ruins.

This temple is dated from 600 B.C.

This temple is dated from 600 B.C.

It was built in the 6th century B.C. and only one pillar is left from the temple.

Only one pillar remains in the ancient sanctuary.

Only one pillar remains in the ancient sanctuary.

I could not believe how hot it was and so off to the beach we went….

What a beautiful day it was.

What a beautiful day it was.

….and the beach was quiet too!

The beach was quiet and we had it all to ourselves.

The beach was quiet and we had it all to ourselves.

I slapped on some suncream and eager waited for my Auntie to strip to her bikini…. Then disappointment – she had forgotten her bikini. Oh well naked sunbathing was in order. Then more disappointment grrrr…. nude sunbathing is illegal in Greece. Boo hoo….

It was great to strip off on the beach.

It was great to strip off on the beach.

We headed back to the ferry port just after sunset for our trip back to Athens.

Sunset over Aegina Town.

Sunset over Aegina Town.

Tomorrow I was going to visit the Acropolis of Athens, a World Heritage Site.

To be continued….

For more information about Greece please visit:

www.visitgreece.gr


My travels to Malta and Gozo in 2014

I am back from my two weeks summer hoilday on the island of Gozo in Malta. This is not the first time that I had stayed here as per my previous blog here:

https://britisharmysgtmonkey.wordpress.com/category/travel/malta/

After all my hard work fighting in operations around the world with the army I needed a relaxing summer break. I was able to top up my sexy cotton fur tan. As well as scuba diving, sea kayaking and trekking, I did many activities and dine in fine restaurants.

However I visited the famous Fontana Fireworks Festival on the weekend of the 14th to 15th June.

Now I have purchased fireworks from Sainsburys over the years for Bonfire Night and the fireworks comes with a rating 1 to 10 based upon noise, explosion and excitment. The Fontana fireworks on the scale of 1 to 10 are graded 10000! In fact I am sure that the Fontana fireworks would be illegal in the UK.

The festival is famous for it mechanical ground fireworks.

The fireworks were spectacular.

The fireworks were spectacular.

The fireworks were ground based.

The fireworks were ground based.

Some people stood very close to the fireworks.

Some people stood very close to the fireworks.

The fireworks had mechanical movements.

The fireworks had mechanical movements.

All of the fireworks were homemade.

All of the fireworks were homemade.

The crowd jumped with joy with the fireworks.

The crowd jumped with joy with the fireworks.

The explosions were loud.

The explosions were loud.

The crowd stood very close to the fireworks and even danced under them.

The crowd stood very close to the fireworks and even danced under them.

The following videos show some of these fireworks.

All of the fireworks are homemade by the people of Gozo. Accidents do happen:

http://www.independent.com.mt/articles/2010-09-07/news/fireworks-factory-explosion-kills-four-gozo-in-shock-279843/

After the fireworks festival I stank of smoke so I was put in the washing machine for a quick 40 degrees spin. The next day I was on the beach sunbathing.

It was very hot here so I was able to top up my furry cotton fur tan.

It was very hot here so I was able to top up my furry cotton fur tan.

For more information about Malta and Gozo please visit:

http://www.visitmalta.com


My daytrip to Kotor, Montenegro in 2013

Today, I was leaving Dubrovnik for a daytrip to Kotor just across the border in Montenegro. I was going on a tour minibus with a guide named Pauevnic Roaiski.

Montenegro is a former Yugoslavia state and it has a coast on the Adriatic Sea and is bordered by Croatia to the west, Bosnia and Herzegovina to the northwest, Serbia to the northeast. Its capital and largest city is Podgorica, while Cetinje is designated as the Prijestonica, meaning the former Royal Capital City. It became independent of Yugoslavia on 2006. It is a small country with a population of just 625,000 people.

The tour bus cost 40 Euros and our guide was very knowledgeable. It is a two and a half hours drive to Kotor – a World Heritage Site on the UNESCO list.

My passport stamp from Montenegro.

My passport stamp from Montenegro.

The old Mediterranean port of Kotor is surrounded by fortifications built during the Venetian period. It is located on the Bay of Kotor, one of the most indented parts of the Adriatic Sea. Some have called the southern-most fjord in Europe, but it is a ria, a submerged river canyon. Together with the nearly overhanging limestone cliffs, Kotor and its surrounding area form an impressive and picturesque Mediterranean landscape.

In recent years, Kotor has become very touristy due to day trippers from Dubrovnik.

The Old Town is surrounded by the walls.

The Old Town is surrounded by the walls.

As my guide said, some 90% of tourists are from either cruise ships or day tours from Croatia.

I was taking in all of the sights.

I was taking in all of the sights.

In World War I, Kotor was one of three main bases of the Austro-Hungarian Navy.

Me admiring the city walls.

Me admiring the city walls.

The Old Town has been fortified many times over the years.

The hilltop fortifications can been seen.

The hilltop fortifications can been seen.

Kotor was first recorded in 168 BC as a Roman settlement.

The walls of the Old Town.

The walls of the Old Town.

The water works of Kotor.

The water works of Kotor.

The narrow streets of the Old Town.

The narrow streets of the Old Town.

Kotor is part of the World Heritage Site dubbed the Natural and Culturo-Historical Region of Kotor.

Chrikes.... they shoot monkeys here!

Chrikes…. they shoot monkeys here!

In 1979 a earthquake destroyed many buildings in the Old Town. It has since been rebuilt.

The hilltops surrounding the Old Town.

The hilltops surrounding the Old Town.

A band was playing in the square.

A band was playing in the square.

The square had floating umbrellas in the sky.

The square had floating umbrellas in the sky.

Pardon?!?

Pardon?!?

Kotor’s Old Town has many churches.

A Serbian Orthodox church of St. Nicolas

A Serbian Orthodox church of St. Nicolas.

After sighting around Kotor, the tour minibus headed off to the coastal town of Budva. This town has a charming old town fortifications and a nice harbour.

Budva is 3,500 years old, which makes it one of the oldest settlements on the Adriatic Sea coast.

I went to the beach next to the fort for some sunbathing.

The coastal town of Budva.

The coastal town of Budva.

Many Russians come here for their holidays. Many Russian girls in sexy bikinis were on the beach and I liked that!

I was peeping at the bikini girls.

I was peeping at the bikini girls.

As the sun went down, I went to the harbour to admire the luxury yachts of the Russian rich.

The motor yachts of the rich.

The motor yachts of the rich.

I headed back to Dubrovnik for some ice cream and girls.

To be continued….

For more information about Kotor please visit:

www.visit-montenegro.com/cities-kotor


My trip to Dubrovnik, Croatia in 2013 – part 1

I have just come back from my two week hoilday in Dubrovnik in Croatia.

The last time I was in Croatia was in the 1990’s when I served with the UN in the war torn former Yugoslavia. I was only 4 years old* when I joined the British Army and sent to the conflict that raged the former Yugoslavia between 1991 and 1995. The war was no place for a young wee cuddly toy but I fulfill my UN duties with honour.

On the day of my departure, my foster auntie and uncle left our house at four in the morning and set off in a waiting taxi. I was very angry – had they forgotten me! So a quick check of my uncle’s email account (I know his password) and grrrrr I found out they never purchase any flight tickets for me! Were they planning to hoilday without me – a private romantic hoilday without me? So, I grab my bags and ran down the street as fast as my wee legs could take me and I manage to jump on to the taxi rear bumper. We made it to the airport but what was I suppose to do! I had no flight ticket. Using my army ninja training I sneaked on the aircraft by climbing in between the undercarriage. My auntie and uncle did not know that I was a stowaway on the flight. I was looking forward to surprising them at the rented appartment.

The next part of my stowaway plan was to climb inside my uncle’s luggage within the aircraft hold and I did it within ease.

When the plane landed in Dubrovnik, a wee sniffer dog snuffed me out on the luggage conveyor belt. The Croatia secret state police arrested me!

They tortured me!

The secret state police tortured me!

The secret state police tortured me!

They put a plastic bag over me and said nasty things to me such as “You are not a cute cuddly toy!”

The Chief of Secret police said that I was to be executed for entering the country illegally.

The old town in Dubrovnik still has the public execution square and I was to be executed at dawn the next day. It was to the first public execution in Dubrovnik since the medieval times.

The execution square in the old city of Dubrovnik.

The execution square in the old town of Dubrovnik.

I was pooping myself as I was led out to the square.

I was scare!

I was scare!

They read out my sins as I was placed into the blocks.

This was it! The end of Sgt. Monkey!

This was it! The end of Sgt. Monkey!

Suddenly there was a cry from the auidence. It was the mayor of Dubrovnik Miss Lynojka Sneobnic. She said something to the Chief of State police! He then came over to me and said he was sorry! The mayor recognised me as the one and only famous travelling Sgt. Monkey from the internet. The mayor decided to parden me after realising that I was no ordinary cuddly toy. I was a free monkey once again.

I made it to my uncle’s rented appartment and when he let me in – I punched him for not taking me on hoilday with him.

My self catering appartment was wee cute – I tend to avoid major hotels as I like to feel that I living in a destination.

Anyway, twenty years on and I am back in Croatia on my summer holidays. It was a hot 35 degrees Celicus and my wee soft cotton fur got burnt.

It was a hot day for sunbathing.

It was a hot day for sunbathing.

To be continued….

For more information about Croatia please visit:

http://www.croatia.hr

* 4 years old for a wee cuddly toy monkey is the equivalent to 16 years in human years.