Today I was going to visit Dalyan and the river delta.
At the town of Dalyan, traditional turkish boats take tourists along the river delta to the various attractions for 35 TL (approx. £8.75). Along the way I got to see the rock tombs, the mudbaths and Iztuzu beach also known as Turtle beach as well as Kaunos ruins.
The small boat was packed with over thirty tourists and was very crowded. Most of them were inconsiderately smoking in such a small confined space!
On the way to Iztuzu beach, we passed the Lycian Tombs.
After a few kilometres, the boat arrives at the back of Iztuzu beach.
Iztuzu beach is a reserve and turtles lay their eggs there, it is lovely and unspoilt.
Turtles can be seen in the waters around the boats.
The beach is very busy with daytrippers from all of the nearby resorts.
You can walk the 7km along the beach from one end to the other, but take plenty of water as there are only two beach cafes on the beach and very little shade.
The beach is closed to the public at nighttime due to turtles activities.
Beach wardens protect the nests.
After spending a few hours on the beach we headed to the mudbaths for a quick bath in the mud.
The mudbaths are said to have mineral properties to rejuvenate the skin.
Our last stop on the boat trip was to visit the Kaunos ruins. Kaunos was an ancient and important seaport. It has both Greek and Roman influence. The ruins date back to the 10th century BC.
Due to the silting of the bay of Dalyan, the ruins of Kaunos are now located about 8kms from the coast.
The theatre is still used for performances.
A little lake forms what used to be the main seaport.
The city was abandoned in the 15th century AD following a malaria outbreak.
On my return back to my appartment I was horrified to see a Praying Mantis (Mantis religiosa) on my balcony.
Fearing for my life, I had to run away! Something that I am well used to from my army days.
On my last day of my holiday I was going into the mountains to Saklikent Gorge. It is 50kms from Fethiye. The gorge is 20kms in length and 300 metres high.
The gorge is one of the longest in the world and I was going to walk several kilometres inland. With the water running down the gorge, the walk requires wading through the water up to waist height or in my case (as I am only 30 cms tall) being totally submerged.
A wooden walkway at the start of the gorge is the entry point into the gorge. After a few hundred metres, the walkway ends at a cafe. From here onwards, tourists must wade through the water. Safety ropes are in place for handholds. Tourists can only wade through the gorge in the summer months for safety reasons.
Finally, I went white water tubing down the river. After a knackering day at the gorge I headed back to the apartment where I spent my last night to a night of love with a sexy gal (I had to pay her fifty Euros). Then it was back to work the following Monday *sniffs*.
– The end –
For more information about Turkey please visit:
I am back from my two week holiday in Turkey.
I was staying in a self-catering appartment in Göcek near to the tourist resort of Fethiye. By staying in Göcek I was away from the tacky all day English breakfast cafes and Sky Sports TV bars that is awash with sunburnt rowdy English louts who are on their tenth pint of beer by midday.
Göcek is a small town in Fethiye district in Muğla Province, Turkey. It was named “Kalimche” in ancient times, and is located near to Dalyan and Caunos in ancient times.
The town itself has many marinas and is popular as a destination for yachting.
My appartment had an swimming pool that I was able to relax at.
For my first day of sightseeing I was going to visit Fethiye marina and also see the Lycian rock tombs.
It was good to take a walk along the marina.
Many boats here can be chartered here for daytrips to the islands.
In the marina I saw two turtles.
Turtles are common on this part of the Turkish coastline.
The historic region of Lycia was a geopolitical region in the provinces of Antalya and Muğla on the southern coast of Turkey.
The landscape of this region is scattered with over 1400 rock tombs. The tombs date back to the 4th century.
The Lycians believed that their dead were carried to the afterlife by magic winged creatures and thus they placed their honored dead in geographically high places such as the cliffside.
The fee to enter the tombs is 5 TL (approx. £1.25).
Getting to the tombs from the marina is easy as the tombs are easily visable from the marina. Just keep walking uphill to get to them.
From the top, the whole of Fethyie can be viewed.
Within the area of the tombs were wild tortoises.
They were a common sight.
After visiting the tombs I made my way back to my appartment for some serious sunbathing with a very sexy gal at the pool.
To be continued….
For more information about Turkey please visit:
After my defeat in the elections and my fall from grace as leader of the Monkey Party I decided to spend more time with my family and go on a holiday to Spain for a week.
My accommodation was a self-catering rental in the centre of Malaga old town.
Not only were we in the heart of the town for the tapas bars and nightlife but we had a lovely roof top terrace with sunbeds, a roofed patio and a BBQ.
This meant I was able to sunbath away from the crowded public beaches and thus bathe in the nude which is great for getting that all sexy tanned cotton fur.
The next day we went to look at the Moorish fort in the centre of Malaga. The Alcazaba fort is well preserved fort and was built in the 11th century.
The fort has free entry on Sundays.
Next to the fort is a old Roman theatre.
After many days of being lazy and sunbathing we took a hour long bus to Antequera and then a short taxi ride to El Torcal Nature Reserve for some trekking. The park is some 30kms north of Malaga.
El Torcel Nature Reserve is famous for it unusual limestone rock formations.
The whole area was under the sea untill one hundred million years ago. The movements of the Earth’s crust forced it upwards into hills, the limestone kept rising in layered horizontal rock formations.
Over the years, rain and wind had chisel away the rocks to form unusual shapes.
Our walk begins at the visitors centre.
A number of walks are marked out with different coloured arrows. The green route is the shortest at 1.5 kms and is cluttered during the day of school children field trips.The yellow route follows on from the green route and is 2.5 kms whilst the red route is the longest at 4.5 kms. The red route has a viewpoint at 1339m altitude where the coast of Africa can be seen on a clear day.
The green route was very noisy with school trips. Once we had left the green route to join the yellow route, we more or less had the whole route to ourselves as very few people do the yellow or the red route.
It was quite cold and windy up here despite the warm sunshine at the coast before we headed up the mountains.
The nature reserve is captivated with 30 varieties of plant growing in the park.
The flora within the park is protected.
We decided that the next day we would take the three hour bus journey to Seville. When the next day arrived, we were so tired and knackered from our trekking the previous day that we decided to stay in bed. So no three hour bus trips.
I got myself a new hunting knife from an outdoors shop for a fraction of the price of UK shops. This made me feel like a big boy now.
I also went to a sex shop to top up my porn DVDs collection.
Soon our week was over and I had to head back to the barracks for duties.
For more information about El Torcal please visit (you need to be able to read Spanish!):
After a hard few months drilling my troops on the parade square, the Colonel has given me a weeks leave. My Auntie decided that we should go to Greece for some winter sun.
I arrived in Athens, the capital of Greece. Athens is one of the world’s oldest cities, with its history spanning around 3,400 years. It was a somewhat hot day with temperatures of 21 degrees and blue skies so I was looking forward to stripping down to my speedos when we hit the beach phwwooaarr…. I made sure that I had my speedos packed as I wanted to flash my assets to the greek gals.
My first tourist attraction was the Parliament building just off Syntagma Square and to inspect the soldiers at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.
The guards stand in front of the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.
The elite Evzones light infantry unit, provide a 24-hour honor guard, with an hourly guard change.
The Changing the Guard at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier in particular has become a tourist attraction, with many people marvelling at the guards, who stand motionless during their one hour shifts.
On the way back to my hotel, I stopped by one of the many sex shops that are in Athens.
The next day my Auntie took me island hoping and the chance to enjoy some winter sun. We took the ferry to the island of Aegina 17 miles (27 km) from Athens. It was a really hot day and definitely a day for sunbathing and sexy gals.
Aegina is a small island and it is the nearest island to Athens and so it is popular vacation place for the Greeks especially in the summer.
Aegina town has many side streets for a pleasant walk.
Aegina is famous for it pistachio nuts. A 500g bag of nuts cost 6 Euros.
Before we headed to the beach, my Auntie wanted us to see the Temple of Apollo.
This temple is only a short walk from the port.
It cost only 2 Euros to visit the ruins.
It was built in the 6th century B.C. and only one pillar is left from the temple.
I could not believe how hot it was and so off to the beach we went….
….and the beach was quiet too!
I slapped on some suncream and eager waited for my Auntie to strip to her bikini…. Then disappointment – she had forgotten her bikini. Oh well naked sunbathing was in order. Then more disappointment grrrr…. nude sunbathing is illegal in Greece. Boo hoo….
We headed back to the ferry port just after sunset for our trip back to Athens.
Tomorrow I was going to visit the Acropolis of Athens, a World Heritage Site.
To be continued….
For more information about Greece please visit:
I am back from my two weeks summer hoilday on the island of Gozo in Malta. This is not the first time that I had stayed here as per my previous blog here:
After all my hard work fighting in operations around the world with the army I needed a relaxing summer break. I was able to top up my sexy cotton fur tan. As well as scuba diving, sea kayaking and trekking, I did many activities and dine in fine restaurants.
However I visited the famous Fontana Fireworks Festival on the weekend of the 14th to 15th June.
Now I have purchased fireworks from Sainsburys over the years for Bonfire Night and the fireworks comes with a rating 1 to 10 based upon noise, explosion and excitment. The Fontana fireworks on the scale of 1 to 10 are graded 10000! In fact I am sure that the Fontana fireworks would be illegal in the UK.
The festival is famous for it mechanical ground fireworks.
The following videos show some of these fireworks.
All of the fireworks are homemade by the people of Gozo. Accidents do happen:
After the fireworks festival I stank of smoke so I was put in the washing machine for a quick 40 degrees spin. The next day I was on the beach sunbathing.
For more information about Malta and Gozo please visit:
Today, I was leaving Dubrovnik for a daytrip to Kotor just across the border in Montenegro. I was going on a tour minibus with a guide named Pauevnic Roaiski.
Montenegro is a former Yugoslavia state and it has a coast on the Adriatic Sea and is bordered by Croatia to the west, Bosnia and Herzegovina to the northwest, Serbia to the northeast. Its capital and largest city is Podgorica, while Cetinje is designated as the Prijestonica, meaning the former Royal Capital City. It became independent of Yugoslavia on 2006. It is a small country with a population of just 625,000 people.
The tour bus cost 40 Euros and our guide was very knowledgeable. It is a two and a half hours drive to Kotor – a World Heritage Site on the UNESCO list.
The old Mediterranean port of Kotor is surrounded by fortifications built during the Venetian period. It is located on the Bay of Kotor, one of the most indented parts of the Adriatic Sea. Some have called the southern-most fjord in Europe, but it is a ria, a submerged river canyon. Together with the nearly overhanging limestone cliffs, Kotor and its surrounding area form an impressive and picturesque Mediterranean landscape.
In recent years, Kotor has become very touristy due to day trippers from Dubrovnik.
As my guide said, some 90% of tourists are from either cruise ships or day tours from Croatia.
In World War I, Kotor was one of three main bases of the Austro-Hungarian Navy.
The Old Town has been fortified many times over the years.
Kotor was first recorded in 168 BC as a Roman settlement.
Kotor is part of the World Heritage Site dubbed the Natural and Culturo-Historical Region of Kotor.
In 1979 a earthquake destroyed many buildings in the Old Town. It has since been rebuilt.
Kotor’s Old Town has many churches.
After sighting around Kotor, the tour minibus headed off to the coastal town of Budva. This town has a charming old town fortifications and a nice harbour.
Budva is 3,500 years old, which makes it one of the oldest settlements on the Adriatic Sea coast.
I went to the beach next to the fort for some sunbathing.
Many Russians come here for their holidays. Many Russian girls in sexy bikinis were on the beach and I liked that!
As the sun went down, I went to the harbour to admire the luxury yachts of the Russian rich.
I headed back to Dubrovnik for some ice cream and girls.
To be continued….
For more information about Kotor please visit:
I have just come back from my two week hoilday in Dubrovnik in Croatia.
The last time I was in Croatia was in the 1990’s when I served with the UN in the war torn former Yugoslavia. I was only 4 years old* when I joined the British Army and sent to the conflict that raged the former Yugoslavia between 1991 and 1995. The war was no place for a young wee cuddly toy but I fulfill my UN duties with honour.
On the day of my departure, my foster auntie and uncle left our house at four in the morning and set off in a waiting taxi. I was very angry – had they forgotten me! So a quick check of my uncle’s email account (I know his password) and grrrrr I found out they never purchase any flight tickets for me! Were they planning to hoilday without me – a private romantic hoilday without me? So, I grab my bags and ran down the street as fast as my wee legs could take me and I manage to jump on to the taxi rear bumper. We made it to the airport but what was I suppose to do! I had no flight ticket. Using my army ninja training I sneaked on the aircraft by climbing in between the undercarriage. My auntie and uncle did not know that I was a stowaway on the flight. I was looking forward to surprising them at the rented appartment.
The next part of my stowaway plan was to climb inside my uncle’s luggage within the aircraft hold and I did it within ease.
When the plane landed in Dubrovnik, a wee sniffer dog snuffed me out on the luggage conveyor belt. The Croatia secret state police arrested me!
They tortured me!
They put a plastic bag over me and said nasty things to me such as “You are not a cute cuddly toy!”
The Chief of Secret police said that I was to be executed for entering the country illegally.
The old town in Dubrovnik still has the public execution square and I was to be executed at dawn the next day. It was to the first public execution in Dubrovnik since the medieval times.
I was pooping myself as I was led out to the square.
They read out my sins as I was placed into the blocks.
Suddenly there was a cry from the auidence. It was the mayor of Dubrovnik Miss Lynojka Sneobnic. She said something to the Chief of State police! He then came over to me and said he was sorry! The mayor recognised me as the one and only famous travelling Sgt. Monkey from the internet. The mayor decided to parden me after realising that I was no ordinary cuddly toy. I was a free monkey once again.
I made it to my uncle’s rented appartment and when he let me in – I punched him for not taking me on hoilday with him.
My self catering appartment was wee cute – I tend to avoid major hotels as I like to feel that I living in a destination.
Anyway, twenty years on and I am back in Croatia on my summer holidays. It was a hot 35 degrees Celicus and my wee soft cotton fur got burnt.
To be continued….
For more information about Croatia please visit:
* 4 years old for a wee cuddly toy monkey is the equivalent to 16 years in human years.