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Posts tagged “toilet

The Monkey Party General Election Campaign 2015 – part 8

It is almost the end of week 3 of our election campaign and our poll is showing the Monkey Party on 75% public opinion. Our wee monkey was speaking at Birmingham NEC this afternoon and in his speech he spoke about the Monkey Party policy for women empowerment and equality.

The Labour Party had launch the pink bus to highlight women empowerment. We at the Monkey Party find the pink bus to be disgusting as it highlights the stereotyping of the colour pink to the female sex. We fail to see how pink can represent women empowerment and equality. What Labour is saying is that women belong to the kitchen! We at the Monkey Party believe that women should be equal in the work place and not stereotype with the colour pink.

The Labour Party pink bus!

The Labour Party pink bus!

What on earth is Harriot Harman is trying to say about women?!?

Harriet Harman joined Labour candidate for Wirral West Margaret Greenwood with the party's pink bus.

Harriet Harman joined Labour candidate for Wirral West Margaret Greenwood with the party’s pink bus.

That is why we have our own policy on women rights with our stand up and piss policy.

Women should be standing up to wee if they want gender equality.

Women should be standing up to wee if they want gender equality.

Let me explain. We believe that for women to be taken serious by men in the workplace is that women must urinate standing. We therefore will promote the use of urinals for women and end the practice of sitting to piss.

How will we get women to urinate standing? With the aid of a shewee device. We will issue every woman in the country a shewee straight from eBay.

Introducing the shewee!

Introducing the shewee!

At a cost of £3.99 each then to provide 35 million females with a shewee will cost the country £140 million. A small price to pay for women empowerment.

So what is a shewee?

The shewee in its glory!

The shewee in its glory!

The shewee allows women to urinate whilst standing.

As quoted from the offical shewee website:

“Invented in 1999 by Samantha Fountain while at university, the Shewee was made as a way to improve trips to toilets for women. The germs, doors that don’t lock, lack of loo roll; all things that women hate about (the usually disgusting) women’s public toilets can be solved with the use of a Shewee.

The first Shewee was made publicly available in 2003, and since has become fully established in the outdoor market, which is where our passions lie. Due to the long amounts of time spent outdoors, usually in places where loos are few and far between, the Shewee fell into the outdoor market with ease.

Shewee is now rapidly appealing to ‘everyday’ women who, like us, hate using public toilets and want something to make it easier and cleaner than trying to squat and hover over away from the germs.”

How to use a shewee.

How to use a shewee.

Women are to carry their shewees with them at all times.

Now men and women can have gender equality.

Now men and women can have gender equality.

Even top celebrities are recommending shewees…

As seen on Top Gear!

As seen on Top Gear!

Once all of our women are peeing standing, we will then carry out our next policy in women rights. That is to ban male and female toilets. Instead all toilets in the workplace and all public toilets will be unisex. Women and men can standing pissing together shoulder to shoulder. We believe that this will be the ultimate expression of women empowerment and equality of the sexes.

Unisex toilets is all about gender equality.

Unisex toilets is all about gender equality.

With our women peeing next to their bosses at work, this will help to ensure equal pay and promotion to the board.

The workplace toilet!

The workplace toilet!

If you agree with our women empowerment policy then please vote for us on May 7th.

We are the fastest growing political party in Scotland.

We are the fastest growing political party in Scotland.

Only the Monkey Party take the piss seriously.

The Monkey Party secretary

If you are interested in the shewee then please visit the official shewee website at:

www.shewee.com

If you wish to buy a shewee then purchases can be made on eBay at:

http://www.ebay.co.uk/bhp/shewee

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Competition – Where is this toilet in the world?

Last night was the deadline for the “Where is this toilet in the world?” competition so now we will reveal the answer to the photograph.

Where is this toilet in the world?

Where is this toilet in the world?

Our guest judge was going through all your entries this morning.

Simon was happy to be our competition judge.

Simon was happy to be our competition judge.

We can now reveal the answer to our reader’s poll.

It wasn’t Buckingham Palace or the White House.

It most definate wasn’t Wat Pho in Bangkok either as one entrant suggested. If you are a experienced traveller as much as our wee monkey is, then you would know that in Asia – most toilets are squats and not sit ons!

It was in fact a Danish toilet in Copenhagen.

Read about our wee monkey adventures in the Denmark here:

https://britisharmysgtmonkey.wordpress.com/category/travel/denmark/

Congratulations to all of those with the correct answer. One of you successfully guessed the correct answer. Please contact our webmaster on our usual webmaster email to claim your prize which is a test tube containing a sample of our wee cuddly toy monkey urine. We will disptach the urine sample to you by courier.

Monkey's wee wee!

Monkey’s wee wee!

There will not be a new “Where is this toilet in the World?” competition tomorrow as we at the “OFFICIAL” Sgt. Monkey website are skint and cannot afford to keep giving away great prizes.

The webmaster team


Competition – Where is this toilet in the world?

Today is our next “Where is this toilet in the world?” competition.

Our wee monkey is a keen traveller and has been all over the world. Obviously, when nature calls our wee cuddly toy need to spend a penny and as such visited many toilets around the world. Some of them have been a charming experience and some of them had been horrible experiences. Our wee monkey has photograph some of these toilets of the world we will ask you to guess where is our feature toilet photograph.

Where is this toilet in the world?

Where is this toilet in the world?

The winner of our competition will receive a test tube containing a sample of our wee cuddly toy monkey urine. A prize well worth wetting your pants for!

Now you have to vote for where you think our toilet is:

Please vote and the judges will reveal the answer on August 31st 2013.

Good luck in your voting.

The webmaster team

N.B. A clue to the place and country of this toilet can be found on one of our wee monkey previous travel blogs.


Competition – Where is this toilet in the world?

Today was the deadline for the “Where is this toilet in the world?” competition so now we will reveal the answer to the photograph.

Where is this toilet in the world?

Where is this toilet in the world?

We can now reveal the answer to our reader’s poll.

It wasn’t Buckingham Palace or Starbucks. It was in fact a Himalayan toilet.

Read about our wee monkey adventures in the Himalayans here:

https://britisharmysgtmonkey.wordpress.com/category/travel/nepal/

Congratulations to all of those with the correct answer. One of you successfully guessed the correct answer. Please contact our webmaster on our usual webmaster email to claim your prize which is a test tube containing a sample of our wee cuddly toy monkey urine. We will disptach the urine sample to you by courier.

The next “Where is this toilet in the world?” competition will be published at 8am tomorrow morning (UK time).

The webmaster team


Competition – Where is this toilet in the world?

Today is the first of our “Where is this toilet in the world?” competition.

Our wee monkey is a keen traveller and has been all over the world. Obviously, when nature calls our wee cuddly toy need to spend a penny and as such visited many toilets around the world. Some of them have been a charming experience and some of them had been horrible experiences. Our wee monkey has photograph some of these toilets of the world we will ask you to guess where is our feature toilet photograph.

Where is this toilet in the world?

Where is this toilet in the world?

The winner of our competition will receive a test tube containing a sample of our wee cuddly toy monkey urine. A prize well worth wetting your pants for!

Now you have to vote for where you think our toilet is:

Please vote and the judges will reveal the answer on June 30th 2013.

Good luck in your voting.

The webmaster team

N.B. A clue to the place and country of this toilet can be found on one of our wee monkey previous travel blogs.


Poll – Where’s Monkey?

Today was the deadline for the Where’s Monkey poll so now we will reveal the answer to the photograph.

Monkey is on the highest mountain of Britain but where is he?

Monkey is on the highest mountain of Britain but where is he?

We can now reveal the answer to our reader’s poll.

It wasn’t Mt. Everest or Mt. Sinai. It was in fact Ben Nevis in Scotland.

Read about our wee monkey adventures up Ben Nevis here:

https://britisharmysgtmonkey.wordpress.com/2012/03/09/my-climb-up-ben-nevis-in-scotland/

Congratulations to all of those with the correct answer. One of you successfully guessed the correct answer. Please contact our webmaster on our usual webmaster email to claim your prize which is a signed photograph of our wee monkey personally signed by our wee monkey. We will email the photograph to you.

This is the last of our “Where’s Monkey” competition for a wee while as we are starting a new competition tomorrow morning.

The new competition is “Where is this toilet in the world?”. As you all know, our wee monkey is a keen traveller and has been all over the world. Obviously, when nature calls our wee cuddly toy need to spend a penny and as such visited many toilets around the world. Some of them have been a charming experience and some of them had been horrible experiences. Our wee monkey has photograph some of these toilets of the world and tomorrow competition we will ask you to guess where is our feature toilet photograph. As with all of our competitions on this fantastic website, the prize will be amazing.

The “Where is this toilet in the world?” competition will be published at 8am tomorrow morning (UK time).

The webmaster team


My trip to Copenhagen, Denmark in 2013 – part 2

On my second day in Copenhagen, I was going to see the sights of the city paying attention to the architecture of the buildings. My walk around Copenhagen started at the fort of Kastellet near the waterfront. The fort is close to the Little Mermaid. The fort is one of the best preserved star fortresses in Northern Europe. It is constructed in the form of a pentagram with bastions at its corners.

The fort is still as an active military area that belongs to the Danish Defence Ministry, however members of the public can walk around the fort grounds. It is a popular site for joggers.

At the southwest corner of the fort is a rather charming windmill.

The windmill was built in 1847.

The windmill was built in 1847.

Near the entrance of Kastellet is a rather charming St. Alban’s Church surrounded by a frozen lake.

The sky was clear and the lake was frozen.

The sky was clear and the lake was frozen.

I ate my sandwiches here.

Monkey at St. Alban's church in Copenhagen.

Monkey at St. Alban’s church in Copenhagen.

After having my sandwiches, I farted alot and then went to the waterfront.

The marina was frozen and icy.

The marina was frozen and icy.

Heading towards the City Hall, I walked down the Strøget which is the longest pedestrian shopping area in Europe.

The Strøget was a charming walk.

The Strøget was a charming walk.

The round tower (Rundetårn) was a 17th-century tower built as an astronomical observatory.

The round tower (Rundetårn) is 36 metres tall.

The round tower (Rundetårn) is 36 metres tall.

The tower does not have stairs instead a 7.5 turn spiral ramp forms the only access to the towertop observatory.

The spiral corridor has a length of 210 m, climbing 3.74 m per turn.

The spiral corridor has a length of 210 m, climbing 3.74 m per turn.

Every year in spring, a unicycle race is held and the contestants have to go up and down the tower. The record is 1 minute and 48.7 seconds.

The tower still had it orginal toilets!

I was not impressed by the toilets here.

I was not impressed by the toilets here.

I think the toilet tips out onto the street below.

The toilet was stinky!

The toilet was stinky!

The view from the top is great.

The view from the top of the tower.

The view from the top of the tower.

Continuing my walk, I came across great architecture.

The buildings were colourful.

The buildings were colourful.

The west end of Strøget at The City Hall Square is a short walking distance from Tivoli Gardens and Copenhagen’s Central Train Station.

I decided to walk over to the artificial island of Christianshavn.

Christianshavns Kanal separates Christianshavn in a city side and a rampart side part.

Christianshavns Kanal separates Christianshavn in a city side and a rampart side part.

Christiania is a self-governing neighborhood which has established semi-legal status as an independent community as a “city within the city”. Photography is against the rules here as too many drug dealers deal their junk here.

Christiania is known as the freetown.

Christiania is known as the freetown.

Near Christiania is the The Church of Our Saviour and it is famous for it corkscrew spire.

The church with it corkscrew spire.

The church with it corkscrew spire.

After visiting the island of Christianshavn, my wee cotton feet was sore, so I headed back to the hotel.

On my way back to the hotel, I saw a statue of a man urinating against the wall.

This statue was peeing against the wall.

This statue was peeing against the wall.

Tomorrow, I was going to cross the Øresund Bridge by train and visit Sweden for the day.

To be continued….

For more information about Copenhagen please visit:

www.visitcopenhagen.com