My travels to Malaga, Spain in 2015
After my defeat in the elections and my fall from grace as leader of the Monkey Party I decided to spend more time with my family and go on a holiday to Spain for a week.
The flag of Spain.
My accommodation was a self-catering rental in the centre of Malaga old town.
Not only were we in the heart of the town for the tapas bars and nightlife but we had a lovely roof top terrace with sunbeds, a roofed patio and a BBQ.
I was relaxing on the roof top.
This meant I was able to sunbath away from the crowded public beaches and thus bathe in the nude which is great for getting that all sexy tanned cotton fur.
I was able to sunbathe in the nude.
The next day we went to look at the Moorish fort in the centre of Malaga. The Alcazaba fort is well preserved fort and was built in the 11th century.
The Alcazaba of Malaga is well preserved.
The fort has free entry on Sundays.
Next to the fort is a old Roman theatre.
A well preserved Roman theatre that is still in use today.
After many days of being lazy and sunbathing we took a hour long bus to Antequera and then a short taxi ride to El Torcal Nature Reserve for some trekking. The park is some 30kms north of Malaga.
El Torcal Nature Reserve is famous for it rock formations.
El Torcel Nature Reserve is famous for it unusual limestone rock formations.
The limestone has formed unusual shapes due to rain and wind.
The whole area was under the sea untill one hundred million years ago. The movements of the Earth’s crust forced it upwards into hills, the limestone kept rising in layered horizontal rock formations.
The rocks are layered.
Over the years, rain and wind had chisel away the rocks to form unusual shapes.
A cow walks by.
Our walk begins at the visitors centre.
The start of our walk.
A number of walks are marked out with different coloured arrows. The green route is the shortest at 1.5 kms and is cluttered during the day of school children field trips.The yellow route follows on from the green route and is 2.5 kms whilst the red route is the longest at 4.5 kms. The red route has a viewpoint at 1339m altitude where the coast of Africa can be seen on a clear day.
The route was clearly signposted.
The green route was very noisy with school trips. Once we had left the green route to join the yellow route, we more or less had the whole route to ourselves as very few people do the yellow or the red route.
It was cold and windy in the mountains.
It was quite cold and windy up here despite the warm sunshine at the coast before we headed up the mountains.
Unusual rock formations.
Rock stacks.
I was admiring the rock formations.
I was enjoying the sights.
The nature reserve is captivated with 30 varieties of plant growing in the park.
Plenty of plant life.
The flora within the park is protected.
Out in blossom.
We decided that the next day we would take the three hour bus journey to Seville. When the next day arrived, we were so tired and knackered from our trekking the previous day that we decided to stay in bed. So no three hour bus trips.
I got myself a new hunting knife from an outdoors shop for a fraction of the price of UK shops. This made me feel like a big boy now.
I also went to a sex shop to top up my porn DVDs collection.
Shopping in Malaga was great.
Soon our week was over and I had to head back to the barracks for duties.
For more information about El Torcal please visit (you need to be able to read Spanish!):
My trip to Tenerife, Spain in 2012 – part 3
On my last day in Tenerife, I was going to Mount Teide (Pico del Teide). This is a volcano peak and the third highest volcano in the world, after Mauna Kea and Mauna Loa in Hawaii. It stands at 3,718-metre (12,198 ft) and is the highest peak in Spain. It is still active as an volcano but is currently dormant. The last eruption occurred in 1909 from the El Chinyero vent.
This is the highest mountain in Spain.
The volcano is within the Teide National Park and was named a World Heritage Site by UNESCO in 2007.
The park was declared a World Heritage Site in 2007.
I parked the car at the Park HQs near the Roque Cinchado rock formation.
The car park at Park HQs.
It was a sunny clear day and I wanted to get a photo of me next to the volcano.
It was a sunny clear day for my trek.
The Roque Cinchado is a unique rock formation within the Teide National Park and is located about 1700 metres below the summit of Teide volcano. With the volcano in the background, this is a great location for photographs.
The Roque Cinchado rock formation with the volcano in the background.
I was going to be trekking around the rock formations.
Lava rock could be seen around the formations.
I trekked for two hours.
The lava was solid and was clear to see.
After my trek I was hungry and ate my sandwiches in the Park HQs.
I was enjoying my packed lunch sandwiches.
My Colonel phoned me and asked me to return back to the barracks for a secret mission behind enemy lines.
For more information on Teide National Park please visit:
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